That's really good! I loved the 'star light, star bright, what do you see tonight'. very clever! good job!

(the whole poem was good :D)

MiZuNoAkAsHi

ToKeNoFwAtEr

wai! I really really really love this poem! your stories and poems are very good! that's why I added you to my favorites list! very dark!

I love it all to death.

This gives good visuals! I like when you bring hell into it, it really gives it an edge. I like this one! :3

Harper K

This is amazing.

Simply Amazing! you chose perefect words, and you showed a certain image, i liked it!

Wow, this is excellent. I love it. Nice symbolism.

sad... i like the contrast between light and the idea of war. good work

keep writing

wow, sheds new light on the old childhood rhyme and makes it more deep and thoughtful. I wish it were longer, if you ever consider re-writing it. There's so much you could do with the repeating lines. But I still love it a lot, maybe you could do two versions. ;)

This I wrote in study hall when I was rather bored. I was thinking dark thoughts, of course. Anyway, I happen to like this one. I don't know that it could be better, but I like the way it came out. I am really happy with it I mean. I would really like it if anyone would read and reveiw. If you don't like it then that is okay as well. I should know that you think that. I don't mind what people think as long as they say it not as a flame. Thanks so much to everyone at I really enjoy reading everyone's work. You are all great writers to me.

A very interesting piece, which I have enjoyed reading. Wonderful imagery, too. So, well done and keep writing!

Interesting. I liked the repitiion of the "Star bright/Star light/What do you see tonight?". I like the word choice. The line "When their lust can’t fore fill their lust" confused me. Who's lust can't fore fill who's lust?

The Black Rose