|Reviews for The Bane of Rendsberg Part III|
| faerie-gumdrops 12/9/07 . chapter 10
Aww this is a really nice chapter. I love how at home Olivier is beginning to feel, and the way that Alteng is so protective of him. The way that Olivier feels everyone so that he knows what they look like is nice, like he's finally getting to really know the people who he's living among. Maybe people like Sil will eventually be able to forgive him too. I loved the 'Pervert!' bit, and Xavier is a cute kid. I also like how you've managed to have so many important characters with various relationships between each other and ma naged to make each one memorable and individual.
Ooh hello Lucifer! Nice ending here, very moreish! So I wonder what the reception for Lucy will be like, especially when everone has already been confronted with an ex-ghost!
| faerie-gumdrops 10/9/07 . chapter 9
Hehe the last line to this chapter was great!
Nice to see them all going back home, and I loved the reminiscing on Lucifer and Olivier's part at the end here. Also, I'm glad that he's beginning to feel less useless now, with bringing the rabbits back for breakfast etc. It's nice that Lucy's giving himself a bit more of a break than usual!
Also, I really enjoyed all the mischief in this chapter, and the idea of Johann putting milk in Alteng's eye socket lol. And if he's done worse, I dread to think what that involved!
| faerie-gumdrops 10/9/07 . chapter 8
Aww I loved this chapter, especially the “Of course, stupid!” at the end. You've done the whole included/not included thing really well here. I like how, although everyone (except Alteng, of course) has kind of accepted Lucifer, he still views himself as being an outsider. I guess that's what years of being a cursed creature will do to someone! Poor Lucy, it would be great if his curse could be lifted, just so that he can truly feel like one of them.
Loved Josef in this chapter, like how he gets so excited about his heartbeat being five times quicker than Lucifer's. Also, felt really sorry for William! He's had a pretty bad time, hasn't he? It was nice to hear a bit of his backstory here, also it helps with describing your world - the beliefs of the kobolds etc are all so well thought out and described!
“I died when I was five,” he answered his dismal look, “It is time that I laid down and quit kicking already.” loved this line!
| faerie-gumdrops 9/7/07 . chapter 7
Yay Lucifer's back! How exciting! He's such a stalker! I can see why he might be angry about Olivier's forgiveness, it does seem a little unfair that Lucifer hasn't been forgiven for something he can't help, but I guess that's just the way that things go. I'm glad that he couldn't get too angry, and that he likes seeing everyone happy - he's such a sweety! Also, really interesting to see what happened at the end of the last chapter from a different point of view - very cleverly done! The mixed feelings of Lucifer were really well written too - the way that part of him wants confrontation but most of him doesn't makes him very realistic - or as realistic as a fantasy creature can be!
The reunion was really good too - especially the hug at the end (because I am a pathetically happy-clappy so hugs are always great!) I thought that the way Johann admitted that he doesn't hate his brother was really touching. Also, the way that Lucifer wanted to hold his nephew once before dying made me love him even more!
| faerie-gumdrops 9/7/07 . chapter 6
Aww very nice chapter here - it's good to see Olivier alive! I love how you described all of his memories with Michael and how he is so confused when he wakes up, like not knowing where he is and who he's with etc. His father sounds like a bit of a demon! I like how his memories are coming back all out of order. I thought you did a really good job of describing what Olivier's point of view would be like, with him being blind. I can imagine that that must be pretty difficult to do, so well done!
Also, loved the cliffie at the end! I wonder what the thing is, and whether or not it's Lucifer. Nice build up of tension when Olivier talked about the person following them earlier on! Also, the part where Alteng welcomed Olivier back to the Cuxhaven family. Alteng is lovely! Hehe I can imagine that a lump of ice down the pants cannot be the most ideal way to wake up!
| faerie-gumdrops 7/5/07 . chapter 5
Uck, sorry, pressed the submit button by accident and posted that review when I was only about half way through! So I guess I will review these two together! Sorry about any confusion, and hopefully this will work!
I liked how Josef poked the bird - he's a such a curious little fellow! Also, I liked the kobolds' reaction to the ship - must have been some sight! Johann's dilemma (have I spelt that right) was good, and I can imagine the kind of fun that the others would have laughing at him if he was to turn back! Aww poor Johann and Josef being sick on the ship - I get like that too, and it sucks!
Ooh Olivier! Where is he? Oh good, he's there! I was worried about him.
woo, so chapter 5! Now I am actually reviewing the chapter that this review is for! Sorry about my clumsiness once again!
Aww I like the way that what Alteng thinks and what he says are so different - like how he's impressed with the way that Olivier copes with his blindness but doesn't want to tell him. Uck a day without sleep - they must be knackered! Also really like the way that Alteng's reliving all of his memories from when he was here before, it is powerful stuff!
Ooh must be pretty creepy having to sleep with a dead body!
Eek Olivier's alive again! How exciting! I think you described the whole bringing him back to life again thing really well, and I hope that poor Alteng will be alright! So yeah, really glad that that worked ok, and I wonder what Olivier will be like now that he's alive again!
| faerie-gumdrops 7/5/07 . chapter 4
Oh I have missed having the time to read this! It is so original and snazzy and fun!
Great description of Olivier's feelings in the first paragraph, you really put across his memories really well. Also, liked the experiments, they sound quite fun and it's nice to see Olivier actually enjoying himself! And that was a funny image of seeing William dressed in Ther's clothes! Clever that they used him as a model instead of Olivier.
Hehe I loved Johann and William's impression of Ther and Alteng - very funny! 'The shadows of the four small travelers stretched out before them like tall wavering dancers in the flickering lantern lights' I loved that line - really vivid.
| MyNameIsMad 3/28/07 . chapter 11
Finished! Go me!
I decided to go on and finish up this last chapter, seeing as it was...the last chapter, and thusly only one more since the one before it.
All in all, this was a good installment. It wasn't my favorite, because that was and probably will always be the first one. Lucy out trekking the world, doing stuff with the humans, getting bitten, all that fun stuff!
If they find a way to un-damn him, it'll be too good to be true. I mean, we've already got Oliver out of HIS fix, and now it turns out Lucifer's got a chance as well? You'll need to play this one carefully. It'll sound a bit repetative if you don't spice things up a bit...which I'm sure you'll do, because you're pretty good at the spicing-up of things. Just look at all your plot-twists! You could make a collection out of them!
With great hopes for the next installment, I bid adieu to part I!
| MyNameIsMad 3/28/07 . chapter 10
And he bites the baby!
Aww, nah, that would be TOO terrible a thing to happen. Babies always seem to recieve immortality in stories not specifically centered around the idea of someone claiming vengance for their dead infant. At least, in everything I've read...that concerned babies and such...which acutally isn't that much. Oh well. I'm not sure what point I'm trying to make. :P
Oliver coping a feel off Sil, and her screaming "Pervert!" at him reminded me of something that would happen in anime. It seems to be a common theme in anime, in fact. Dunno why.
Nice chapter, by the way. Oliver, as always, is his cute, confused self. The girls annoy me in this story. Not necissarily a bad thing for you as a writer, but they're not my personal favorites. Too bitchy.
| MyNameIsMad 3/27/07 . chapter 9
Another good chapter. You had a few typos, and a bit of a lack of commas, but those are easily fixable. Boy, won't the girls be surprised when Lucifer steps through the door in a few days (or however long he'll wait). I bet they'll be thrilled. Not only do they have a blind, formerly murderous, formerly dead Kobold coming to them, but also a still dead, vampiric Kobold. What a combonation, huh?
You do a good job describing physical actions, I don't know if I've ever mentioned that before. All your characters are very active, seemingly never still!
Did Johann actually put milk in Alteng's eyesocket? Gross. That makes my stomach feel funny. XP
Why do we think fictionpress wasn't showing my new story before? It seems to be alright now (and thanks for reviewing), but it was going haywire for a moment there. Oh well. This sight can be a major hernia sometimes.
| MyNameIsMad 3/26/07 . chapter 8
This was a cute little chapter! (and by little, I mean long, as are all your chapters :P) Wow, that's just too good to be true for Lucy, isn't it? The poor little thing might get a second chance, huh? Good for him! Though, I can only assume something else is going to go horribly wrong. As I read this chapter I started to wonder...will he make it through to the end of the series? Again, I can only 'assume' he will. It IS called Bane of Rendsberg, after all...but will little Lucy make it through to NOT being the Bane of Rendsberg? I suppose I'll have to see!
By the way, Josef is adorable. XD
| faerie-gumdrops 3/26/07 . chapter 3
I can't believe it's been three months! So sorry about that - I've been getting worse and worse at surviving for a long time on fictionpress - work has eaten my life!
Aww look at Alteng and his planning self! And I love how naughty your Kobolds are, dabbling on the wrong side of the law. Liked the memory of Alteng's mum too. So I wonder whether The Antonia will arrive in time or whether they're going to have to go by foot. Would be pretty cool for everyone to go on a boat trip! Ooh and Josef is out of the library!
Ah a smack around the back of the head. The way to solve so many of life's problems! lol. I wonder whether Olivier will have much luck possessing an inanimate object - doesn't look as if he's going to enjoy doing it very much! Oh god, possession does sound like a weird experience, doesn't it?
Ooh the ship's a-coming! I liked the little snow sprite. Ooh I love your description in this chapter, as ever, like of the docks and Ryley - gives a really clear picture. hehe mermaid and kraken - that could make a pretty interesting kid, and is it odd that I'm wondering how exactly they'd mate? Aww cute dog!
'vivaciously trying to decided whether to continue his greeting to the guest or obey his master'
Spotted a typo! Decided should be decide. Ah I feel for Alteng being nocturnal - the morning hours just aren't pretty! Anyhoo glad that Alteng as able to get all of that sorted out. Ooh wonder what Alteng's going to do about the dog situation.
“Wow! You do look like a pirate in that get up! You shouldn’t hide the hook under your cloak. It would complete the image better.” Hehe i love him!
No wonder Olivier's scared when Alteng's asked to cut something off of him! Poor Alteng, though, only getting to cut off some hair - I love how he was disappointed about not maiming Olivier! I also loved how Olivier really didn't want to go alone - kind of sweet how awkward he was. I wonder whether they'll all be able to meet up ok and whether Olivier will be able to make it!
| MyNameIsMad 2/4/07 . chapter 7
Woo, I finally got a chance to review!
This chapter was chock-full of angst, wasn't it! Poor little Lucifer; he's got a simply awful life, doesn't he? I hope things take a turn for the better from here on out, though I doubt the happiness will last for long. I see you've got a part 4 as well, making me think something's gotta happen to keep the story going. Ah well.
You had some grammatically incorrect sentences in there. It could do with a once-over to weed them out and make it a little easier on the eyes. Nothing big, just something to think about!
| MyNameIsMad 1/24/07 . chapter 6
Clifhanger! We love to do those, don't we? I loved this chapter, it was very cute. Still reminds me a bit of Mod waking up. I guess we must think alike.
I'm guessing that's probably not Lucy, then. What with the nasty black webbing and everything. Oh well. I'll just have to wait for him to come back.
I'll only be able to review this one chapter tonight. I've got a massive sixty word German vocabulary test tomorrow. Verdammt!
| MyNameIsMad 1/23/07 . chapter 5
Yay, Oliver's alive! HE'S ALIVE! MWUHAHAHA! Sorry, Frankenstein reference. Did you know that book is nothing like the movie? Mary Shelly was a genius.
I liked this chapter. Sort of reminds me of Mod waking up in part two of Urf, all bony and disoriented and thirsty. You did this scene well, not making it over the top, no bright flashing lights and spectral beings flying around. Thanks for that. People overdo it sometimes. Was that shadowy figure in the woods who I thought it was? Or is that just me wishing Lucifer would come back?