I liked this. It was... sweet, I guess. Innocent. =] And I liked the jump in and out of Billy's imagination.

Just work on showing rather than telling. Like here:

"Trevor was there, along with Betsy -Trevor’s younger sister- and Gabe –Trevor’s next door neighbor–."

When you show the readers something rather than telling them right out, that's the beginning of good writing. The next part is finding people who will rip your work into tiny pieces without thought for your feelings... *sigh.

It's rough being a writer.

Thank you for reviewing me! =]

It seems you like to write short stories of a sort...

I really enjoy reading them.


Much Love.