FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Her Wishing Well 2007-04-21 ch 1,  | abuseThis is so unbelievably sad. But sad dosen't some it up. I can't imagine what it must be like for anyone to have to go through this. The simplictity of the lines makes every emotion raw and powerful. Amazing. |
| xx-cronopio-xx 2007-03-20 ch 1, | abuseThough some of the lines are somewhat obviously expressed (as in "life formed and she swelled; months passed with that promise"), the simplicity of the poem and the potency of the images, which are used here very sparingly (i.e., ten lovely blue fingers, you watched her buried with the world in her mouth) make the poem quite striking. Try for a little variation in the first two lines, and don't reinforce the concept of pregnancy with superfluous lines, since it is effectively conveyed by the poem anyway. The last two lines were priceless. Adieu, Kat |
| mostly water 2007-02-18 ch 1, | abuseDamn you for so many pretty lines. >< "ten lovely blue fingers" "you watched her buried with the world / in her mouth" "you know the secret and the truth:" Dammit. Really lovely. |
| Elizabeth Bilberry 2007-01-31 ch 1, | abuseThis is bittersweet and makes me want to cry. Take care. EB |
| simpleplan13 2007-01-10 ch 1, | abusesad and beautifully written.. powerful imagery |
| dress her up in fairytales 2006-12-22 ch 1, | abusei love the summary -- it pulled me in. it's so strange ... because i can almost taste this ... feel the breath, i love it. |
| no.peace.los.angeles 2006-12-07 ch 1, | abuseThis poem was positively heartbreaking. OMG. My goodness. I love the first line - fantastic opener, and gorgeous description of a woman going through pregnancy. Wow. Powerful piece. Keep writing! :) |
| Forever Forbidden 2006-11-26 ch 1, | abuseShort and simple? No, it's short, but very complex. Good poem! -Helen |
| And Your Little Dog Too 2006-11-26 ch 1, | abuseborn dead? sounds cool too me has a lot behind it. i liekd this poem too :) |
| LongNightz 2006-11-23 ch 1, | abuseOh wow, that was so sad. You did a really lovely job, hon. |
| by His blood 2006-11-22 ch 1, | abusebeautiful and heartbreaking and absolutely gorgeous. 'she had two arms and two legs, ten lovely blue fingers that would never grasp.' amazing. |
| beti213 2006-11-20 ch 1, | abuseyou have such a depth of originality in you-it's staggering. I especially loved the line "buried with the world in her mouth" and the last line. I also appreciated the fact that I had to read it twice to completely grasp it, as usual with your poetry. Bravo once again... for taking something cliche and making it real again. |
| Aquafied 2006-11-15 ch 1, | abusei think of abortion and blue skies the most horrible days happen to be the most beautiful |
| X.xPrincess.Midnightx.X 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abuseThis is a sad, yet very powerful poem. I like. Wonderful work, as always. Keep it up. |
| A Perfect Sonnet 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abuseThis was...you know...wonderful. |