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| Fractured Illusion 2007-08-19 ch 1,  | abuseReally gripping dialog despite the fact that they don't really say anything that extravagant. The fact that she bit so deep as to connect to his bones seems a tad too quick for a progression, though. Ending was awesome. But I dislike the fact that there is hardly any info on who they are what their relation is. Made it "empty". Still, good story! ^^ - Frac |
| BAH, HUMBUG! 2007-06-09 ch 1, anon. | abuseDamn.You're good at this stuff. I like your style. Very good deatail and I love how graphic the gore is. Keep it up. |
| Chaotist Razor 2006-12-06 ch 1, | abuseI love the amount of detail you've put into this. You do a very good job when it comes to giving imagery. The part that sticks in my mind is the description of the meat still in her teeth. It's pretty chilling, to say the least. Short and sweet, is the perfect description for this work. Great job. |
| InViSiBlE wOmAn 2006-11-15 ch 1, | abusetwisted and descriptive, gd job! |
| Fact or Fiction 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abuseYou know Tide will get that stain right out, haha. Seriously, this was one hell of a disturbing story. I wanted to throw up half way through it, and had to stop reading it - it was that gruesome. I can't help it, I'm squeamish. Well done, though, the descriptions were - well, you can kind of guess. My favourite line had to be "He had never noticed that red was such a contrast on white…" It was just so well placed, I love it when those kind of lines are included in stories. The only part that could use some work was the over-use of adjectives. If there's more than 4 of them in a sentence, you gotta fix it up. I don't really get how someone could have such a fascination with something that disturbing, yet I have an obsession with menthol chapstick. I was also a little confused at the beginning, a little more background information would've helped, and just the whole small-girl-able-to-pin-bigger-than-her-guy didn't make sense. Perhaps she's stronger because of all the protein in her diet? All in all, I really liked it. You should try writing one similar to this, but with some type of creature doing the work - and lots of screaming. =) Happy writing, Fact or Fiction |