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| xxvisionaryxx 2008-06-28 ch 1,  | abuseThat was really good, I liked the rhyme scheme and the way that everything was so simple, yet so descriptive. It was slightly creepy, but yeah, good. I thought the last two lines were good, not rhythmically challenged, but just a little different from the rest. I liked that difference and detachment, I thought it was a nice way to end it. |
| Karasu-sama 2006-11-26 ch 1, | abuseHey, I LIKE the last two lines. :P Don't give them a complex. Yaay vampires!! (dances) My cousin writes yummy vampire slash... and, I'm assuming that this is also yummy vampire slash. This makes me wanna jump onto a random person and latch onto their neck... Which is a good thing. :D ♥ --Karasu |
| Adueria-Sothis 2006-11-23 ch 1, | abuseAwesome poem! love it! Vampires are such fun things to write about, you can be all grotesque yet beautiful at the same time. Once again well done on the poem. |
| the sacred night 2006-11-19 ch 1, | abuseI like all the vivid images in this poem, and all the action. A lot of poems are very still and talk about static things, but in every line of this one, someone is *doing* something. I like that; it kinda makes the whole thing feel like a video montage of this couple's bloody sex life. I assume it's sex- there are a few hints, like "grasp your hips" and "collapse onto the sheets." What's great is it's so vivid without specifically referencing genatalia, so it's not NC-17, or not for sex anyway. The sex part is subtle. And I think it's super hot that you can't tell whether it's two women, a woman and a man, or two men (or more than 2 people?) The only criticism I'd offer is that the rhythm is actually *too* strong. It gets singsongy after a couple stanzas. If you made the lines longer (either by writing more or simply combining two lines into one) it might lose some of that, and you could still keep the same rhythm, but the beat wouldn't feel so forced. |
| Love Eternally 2006-11-17 ch 1, | abuseLain, sometimes, you...disturb me. It was good though. I liked it. |
| Tums 2006-11-14 ch 1, | abuseI love it! And they aren't challaged, they're 'special'. XD |
| Single Black Rose 2006-11-14 ch 1, | abusewow, i liked this surprisingly more than i expected to. I'm not that picky or anything, but vampires are hard to write about and keep someone's attention... love your work... ~Rose |
| afk 2006-11-14 ch 1, | abusehahahhaa love your ending note. But nice peom i like it actualy rymes but not forcefully! |
| dolly-dear 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abuseOhh, I love vampires. Therefore I love this. Very good! |
| Emmy 2006-11-13 ch 1, anon. | abuseod. i ahte you. well no i dont. i just hate your tallent. i wish i was taht talented. |
| Rachizzle 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abuseamazingly good poem, lol a little creepy but that's how I like it XD |
| Venustas iaceo 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abuseMy baby was delivered today ahaha Oh, I hate vampires but this doesn't seem like it was actually about a vampire - more like a fetish. Fetish, fetish, fetish! Ah. I liked it, though. Tk, tk, on a completely related note, blood tastes good and spit helps make wounds hurt less so licking up blood is wonderful, really. Hmm. Fetish. You're MY fetish. (Gasp, maybe I shouldn't say such things in front of a baby!) Love, Me |
| Death-Scimitar 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abuseHey! This was great! I like blood, but keep your AIDS infested bloody finger away! Ahh! Anyway, I like blood and vampires, good choice. ~Death |
| bandgeek789 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abuseDamn you can write! I am strangely turned on by this poem :P |
| Duzen Broken DreamZ 2006-11-13 ch 1, | abusethis was way awesome!! I LOVE IT! it was really smooth...! |