Amazing imagery! Wow your vocab is amazing and enhances the mystique of the story. Great atmospherics and setting. However, I got a wee bit confused at some parts.. maybe you can focus a bit more on the language? Overall, really fantastic job!

its good but cant understand without a sequel
read and reveiw my story

How you described Chloe was a bit Mary Sue ish (I tend to get like that too) but the ending was great. It leaves the reader to wonder a lot.

-Helen