Yes, Yes that's a good point. If it's not fun for you to be writing tis stage of his life than you shouldn't write it. Plain and simple. The last sentence on this chapter "His teachers have no clue what they are doing." does not quite make sense. Maybe it's just me having a day, but you might wanna clarify it. Sorry if I've been a tad bit harsh in my reviews of this piece, I just thought I should tell you my true and honest opinion. Overall on this story, I would rate it at a 4 out of 10. I know you can write better than this and encourage you to do so.

hm...this chapter is better, but could use some revision. You have a few grammatical mistakes such as run on sentences, but other than those few mistakes it was pretty good, :)

Okay, this style is still annoying me, but at least i have something to say other than complain about the style this time. At the end of this chpter you add commentary. In a real book, this would not be there. Maybe in a review of a chapter online or something, but not actually in the book. DON'T DO THIS!

Oh jeez. I really don't like to be so cruel, but this story is absolutely driving me INSANE! Your style is kinda odd, and the writing could use a better vocabulary. You repeat words much to often and it becomes boring i9n that way. When you type this you should use the synonyms option. Another idea, look up random words in the dictionary to learn their meanings. This will help you to become a better writer and have a better vocabulary.

Hm...I dont mean to be to harsh or critical, but what I see in this story so far is a piece of writing that is not that great. It reminds me of the way we used to tell/read stories in the third and fourth grade. Am I being to harsh? The storyline is interesting but the styl is not all that great. I'll keep reading and hopefully the style will improve.

Interesting way to writw this story so far. If I were the author iI might have worded things a tad bit differently though. Looks like it'll be a pretty interesting piece.

Aw... oh well. Yeah, teachers are ** tards... But yeah you're right, why do it if it's not for fun?

I love the beginning =p Kindergarteners are always so lost on their first day of school. But they're so cute =) This is really good so far. Keep it up =) Can't wait to read the next chapter... pre teen years... Tough times...

*~Black and White Dreams~*

“Thanks honey says Donna. I am just worried about Issac so much now, I thought everything would be fine”

that should be

“Thanks, honey," says Donna. "I am just worried about Issac so much now, I thought everything would be fine.”


Hurry and finish with the next chapter =D


*~Black and White Dreams~*

Same thing with the quotes in this chapter. Just a couple of grammar errors.

“Well Tommy and I noticed he was not crying hardly, or speaking either.”

There should be a comma between "well" and "Tommy".

“Thank you doctor so much”

Should be

"Thank you, doctor, so much,"


Can't wait to read the next chapter =)


*~Black and White Dreams~*

All right... well you got the quotes in... but, you don't need them at the end of every sentance if the same person is talking. For example, you have

“why isn’t our baby boy speaking?” “He has kept his mouth shut for a while now, he barely even cries.”

It should be:

"Why isn't our baby boy speaking? He has kept his mouth shut for a while now, he barely even crys."

You don't need quotations after "speaking?" because Tommy is still speaking. It's pretty good so far though.