Hm dark little warning given here isnt there?

I liked it. I sort of interpreted it my own way of course.

I found it a warning to someone to not stray from what they know. Maye a warning to not get mixed with the wrong crowds or addictions.

I found it very deeply hidden in metaphors.. which is great. You have awsome figurative language in this piece. It is amazing. I had to read this a few times to get the full circle of all the illusions.

Great write. Bravo.

the first line caught and held me until the end.
Kate

i don't know what to say about this one. from the beginning it has this ancient fairytale-ish feeling. and the ending stanza shatters and solidifies that. i don't know how you do it...it's simply breathtaking. i have to fav. this.

The first and last two lines were my favorite lines, as was "through metal advances that show their wear." Beautifully abstract.

I *adore* the language in this piece. Really. The last stanza is incredible! I particularly loved: "Your calves are cinnamon spun/in ancient ore, and he's catching up/with style now" Wow.

this is feral and oddly sexy. i'm not sure why. the words slip off your mouth like promises you have no intention of keeping.