Reviews for The Mark of the Fang: Nyzal's Story

Reviews For: The Mark of the Fang: Nyzal's Story - Reviews: Page 1 of 5

Carmel March 2008-07-11 ch 19,	abuseThis story just continues to amaze me. I love every bit of it! I hope to read more soon :) ~Carm~
King of Kings 2008-06-27 ch 19,	abuseWonderful chapter. ;) It did take a while, but well worth the wait. As much as I don't like Nyzal getting his poor wolf-** kicked so severely, I couldn't help but think Sephian's abilities are awesome. XD It seems his cockiness isn't wholly misplaced, now is it? The beginning was rather amusing...it's a good thing Levi is there with him, huh? XP Heh. The descriptions of the action and Nyzal's change were well-done. ;) It makes me wary, however, for Nyzal's future training...and Krissan's. It'll be interesting to see what happens now...and if Nyzal ultimately manages to stop Emile. On that note, I'd like to mention I agree with wolfblood. It would be nice to see a little more of the Vampire's side in all of this. 'Specially Emile, considering he seems to be the major antagonist. Regardless, hope to see another chapter relatively soon! XD
wolfblood82 2008-06-27 ch 19,	abuseHeya there! It's me lol! :D Anyway, sorry for being a bit late. Got occupied by Euro. :S Anyway, good chapter here. At least I can see improvements here in terms of description details. :) And to think that a new character is introduced towards the end. Interesting. I'll be looking forward to see what you can do with her. ;) Just one CC here and that is, maybe you can do certain parts on the Vampire's agenda and any possible humane traits within the antagonists in order to flesh out the story. As one of my favorite review quotes go, "there's a reason behind every action". So yeah, here's something for you to think about. :) Apart from that, nothing much to say. And yeah, thanks for your review on Circles of Arven. Never really expected them since you've gone MIA here for quite some time lol! :D P.S: On a random note, I'm starting to have certain inspirations for a new fantasy story. And yeah, one thing to note is that the main character is planned to be a werewolf lawl! XD But tbh, not sure if I'll go ahead with it. :(
Reda 2008-02-15 ch 1,	abuseHerro! I was a bit confused as to who Joel is talking to. I assume the leader after reading the whole thing, but right away - I had assumed Melina, seeing as she's the only other one to talk. You could have Joel look to Nyzal when he asks "well do you want me to take care of it?" Just to clarify things. "Nyzal smirked as he rose from his throne." - no pretty descriptions of his throne? Awe. Do you notice how Melina gets a much better description than the other two? That's not fair. Come, now. Must be fair to the characters. And why say an EXACT height? As far as I've seen - and as far as I care - it works better to just set the character heights in comparison with other characters. Also, another problem with the description is how lengthy it is - and it's all one sentence? "Melina, blah blah blah blah blah, moved..." Do you REALLY want to do that? And then you go and do that tense-switching thing in the last paragraph. Past to present. Watch out for that. See, this is where description would be good. I'm having trouble actually picturing the characters, and the setting. Sigh. Also, 21 should be written out "twenty-one" ~Reda~
Carmel March 2008-02-04 ch 18,	abuseEven though it's been awhile since I've been on Fictionpress, I've definitely not forgotten this story. I'm loving it! It's this kind of story that keeps me coming back for more. So, I hope to see more from you soon :) ~Carm~
King of Kings 2008-01-01 ch 18, anon.	abuseUh-Oh...looks like Nyzal has more than just Sephian to worry about...O.O...can't wait to 'see' Sephian again! XD But...ToT Poor Ria and Lyn...Emile really is quite powerful, isn't he? O.O He worries me...although, I have to admit, as far as villains go, he's the excellent choice. Anyway, your descriptions this chapter were very good - awesomely written, I'm just sorry it took me so long to get to this. Your AN in the middle of the story cracked me up. XD Although, my advice is not to put Author's Notes in the middle of chapters...it kind of distracts from the story, and that's not always a good thing. I can see your side of this, though. Wouldn't want you to get your head torn off, either. O.O XD Anyway, great chapter - I hope you manage to update soon!
Fantasy Loremaster 2007-12-14 ch 18,	abuseWill we ever find out why the Sabers & Vanessa wanted Krissan? I am looking forward to finding out more about Levi and Shadow as there has not been much info about them yet. I am also curious about any other potential allies that will show up at Nyzal's domain to fight the Four Fangs (i.e. the F.E.A.R. group you mentioned) Please update soon as I am eager to read what happens next! F.L.
wolfblood82 2007-12-09 ch 18,	abuseWell, glad to see you update again. :) Anyway, good chapter here. The scenes were very well described and the fighting scenes were also very well done. On a random note, you A/N in the middle of the chapter seems freakin' funny to me. I don't know if it's the timing or contents though... :D And your A/N in the end where Shadow said Nyzal PMSing is super funny as well lol! XD Just one problem here and that is, I think you can do much more on character descriptions. Apart from that, nothing to suggest here. And the whole scenario of this chapter is rather interesting as well too. ;) Interesting to see where the next chapter goes since Sephian and Levi will be there with Nyzal if I'm not wrong. And yeah, originally, I thought the climax of the story is near when I saw the end of this chapter, but seems that maybe I'm wrong. Anyway, hope to see more of your reviews for Circles of Arven soon. I really miss them...
Carmel March 2007-11-11 ch 17,	abuseI'm here, I'm here! I'm still alive! Sorry I took so long to read and review! Time is an issue these days. Really wonderful job you're doing, as always. I was so glad to see an update in my inbox. So, keep up this superamazingness. I can't wait to read more :) ~Carm~
King of Kings 2007-10-29 ch 17, anon.	abuseWow! I'm so glad you've updated! XD I liked this chapter, though it was pretty vulgar. ;) The action scenes were well done - I have no complaints. I'm apprehensive about what will happen to Ria and Lyn now...Emile is so sinister! O.O Can't wait for part two, I hope you get a chance to post it soon! XD
wolfblood82 2007-10-29 ch 17,	abuseWell, glad to see that you've updated. But one thing I felt for this chapter is that you can do so much better for it. The whole torture scene IMO can be omitted since it doesn't do much for the story on the whole. You can basically focus more on Lyn and Ria losing control here instead of explicit torture scenes here which I don't think serves any purpose except in portraying general bloody scenes by random. I really hope you can do much more better in the next chapter and I'm looking forward to see what you can do in the future chapters. Sorry if I sound mean here. I'm not mean by nature, so if my comments seems blunt here, hopefully you won't get offended here since I'm not out to offend you. Anyway, hope to see you update soon! ^^ Bye! :)
urbanfictionalist 2007-10-28 ch 17,	abuseloved it cant wait for the next chapter
King of Kings 2007-09-21 ch 16, anon.	abuseOh HELL no you did not just put Nyzal in that situation...-groans for poor Nyzal- XD OH. MY. GOD, is right, Sandy. The parts with Sephian and Levi were just awesome! Sephian is amazingly great! I love him so much! Poor Nyzal, though...he shouldn't have to deal with them...especially not when he's PMSing. ^^ Those nasty mood swings... Excellent chapter. XD I wish I could have gotten to it sooner. I hope to see the next one soon!
wolfblood82 2007-08-12 ch 16,	abuseDude, the car chase scene was definitely Die Hard level. Pretty much what John McClane will do. Have you watched Die Hard 4.0 btw? Anyway, interesting to see that you've introduced new characters here. Wonder how they will gel into the story. Apart from that, nothing much to say except that Nyzal's definitely in for a big pain in the ** by my estimation lol! XD And yeah, thanks very much for your latest review. Hope to see more of your reviews soon! ^^ Bye! :)
Carmel March 2007-08-09 ch 16,	abuseAnd the plot thickens. Great chapter :) I liked how you brought in some new characters. I'm really interested to see where you're going to take this. Update soon! ~Carm~

Return to Top