Its been said before but that first line is amazing. The beginning of a poem is crucial to how somebody is going to read the rest and the work as a whole and when you start it off this well it makes everything else light up.

I also liked the long verse, because of the flow and structure.

gorgeous

So beautiful. Simple, with not a lot of description, but it's a pretty poem. Keep writing! :)

when people try to be romantic, and inject their words full of love, they try too hard most of the time, and shoot wide. this is a testament to how it should be. your words are nonaggresive for style or cleverness (unlike the poem i jut read), and it worked so prettily this way. "a quiet hallelujah", and the juxtaposition of differences and staying the same is deep and provocative. I hope you can find a way to help him/her.

love, c.induced.

Aw, sweet. I love the first line.

I absolutely loved the first line and there was something so deep and huge about the last line. Wonderfully written, well done

gnarly. i like how you italicized WE. reminds me of laguna..

This piece, especially the title, initially reminded me of the Coldplay song "Fix You." After reading the first line, I could've hugged you. :) Amazing start.

I'm fond of the middle stanzas, especially the lines "and every moment in between," "because the trouble is / the connection is too strong" ... And from there, leading into the imagery of an artery "too deep" is stunning. And--*dies*--your ending.

Awesome, babe. I love it!

I loved many parts of this (like: "he struck me as a quiet hallelujah" ; "...if things would turn out differently / the same" ; and especially "because the trouble is / the connection is too strong / An artery too deep"). But something in the last few lines doesn't seem as strong as the rest of the poem.

~I always look forward to reading your poems.