Reviews for The Bane of Rendsberg Part IV

Reviews For: The Bane of Rendsberg Part IV - Reviews: Page 1 of 4

faerie-gumdrops 2008-09-03 ch 16,	abuseHe's gone! But where? Ooh I wonder what's going on inside Alteng's head and what he's got planned. I'm guessing that it probably doesn't involve throwing an 'i love vampires' party, complete with cake and blood-flavoured icing. Lyndor's connection with Olivier is really sweet, and I understand why she would be so scared of everyone. I liked the part where Alteng complains that she's as much of a monster as he is! And the way that Alteng and Stephen are finally able to agree upon something--atacking the kid! What a thing to bond over! It was a bit of a shock when Lyndor attacked Ther like that, but it made sense and a good bit of drama. It was really nice when Olivier and Alteng hugged. Because I am incredibly soppy and like that kind of thing. It's great that Olivier's been forgiven etc and maybe he'll finally be able to forgive himself one day too. Still, fun how Alteng has managed to forgive Olivier, who has done far worse than Lucy, but he still hates Lucy. I guess he just loves to hate Lucy too much to stop doing it right yet!
faerie-gumdrops 2008-09-03 ch 15,	abuseOh, it's been too long! So everyone's coming together again - fun! And it's nice to see Olivier trying so hard to be a decent guardian for Lyndor - it's true that you couldn't have picked a more unconventional guardian for her! That was a fun fight between them and the wolf at the end too--it's great to see a reason why the woods are so dangerous and why Olivier chose to rest during the day etc. It's cool how Lyndor managed to make it run away like that, and the Olivier / Alteng reunion was nice. I liked how Alteng was feeling so bad about letting Olivier end up on his own with the kid like that - it's cool how he feels so responsible for his uncle (and understandably so!) despite being younger. I liked all the hatred between Lucy and Alteng, like how the first thing Alteng does when Lucy talks its attack him. Fun fun! And it's nice to see Lucy standing up for himself, like insisting that he's not an it, and bringing Schone's absence up. CCwise: 'he could feel the sore muscles stiffening ** he moved onward' this was a fun typo. Also between the Alteng and Olivier parts, it might read easier if you put a break or something to make it clearer. 'as if were she to let go, he would fade away, and she would be alone again.' I thought this was really pretty :)
faerie-gumdrops 2008-08-02 ch 14,	abuseIt's cool to find out some more about the black hair curse and vampires and all that jazz. I can understand why Lucifer is excited about meeting another vampire to answer all of his questions - not only is he undead, but he was all alone in his vampiry-ness for so long! I like Schone and how she's not in the kitchen etc as Alteng says. They have a really cute relationship actually, come to think of it! I love how Alteng looks up to her without knowing her dirty little secret - i wonder what will happen if he ever finds out! I really like Schone, actually, and how she's so abrasive to Lucy, by kicking him to wake him up etc. The contrast between these two vampires is awesome. 'Being the graceful being that he was, he fell backwards on his hands. He blinked up at her from his new sitting position.' Bless. Good old Lucy. I also liked the new dimension between these two and their black hair and Wichtlein blood. This was a great chapter for character interaction and backstory. Yum. 'I . . . uh . . . Tried to kill him then' lol this was great. Yeah, that probablly would get in the way of a beautiful friendship, wouldn't it!
faerie-gumdrops 2008-05-12 ch 13,	abuseHey! Sorry about my general deadness recently, as ever work has eaten my life (and it's exam season now! Ek! Right now I should be revising transcription...not fun.) Olivier is very fun in this chapter, and I love how he's bonded with Lyndor, he is a very sweet ex-dead cannibal. Also, Lyndor seems pretty interesting with her witchy powers! Powers are always fun. Loved the little tender moments between them, like when Olivier was rubbing her feet at the end here, and how he gave her food. Horrible what happened to her family, especially the baby. Loved the part where Lyndor is thinking about the dead mouse, and then enforcers breaking her brother's neck - very shocking and horrible stuff. And how they made her watch it all...shudder...aren't they lovely people? Anyway, it's great to see the customs in action, and just how dangerous it is for Kobolds to have black hair, lost limbs etc. Links back very nicely to the veery beginning of this story and the attempted killing of Lucifer - like puts more backstory into Lucy's dad's motivation. Broken arms, stab wound...you can be very mean to your poor characters, can't you :) I hope Olivier is alright with that spreading blood coming out of his shoulder - ouch! Oh yeah, also liked the part where he's comparing pain in the living world to the afterlife, and you gave us little snippets about what it was like for him being dead. Very cool. Wonder whether these guys will be able to catch up with everyone else okay. 'Alteng’s going to kill me for this!' That was a great line lol. Probably my favourite one. This chapter was really lovely and tender. Hopefully Olivier will do a better job with taking care of Lyndor than he did with Alteng! Am still going to be FP-dead for a couple of weeks until exams are over, but after that I vow to finally catch up with this. I'm so sorry that I'm so far behind. And sorry this review is so long and rambly!
faerie-gumdrops 2008-04-12 ch 12,	abuseOoh new character! Exciting! So Schoene sounnds pretty cool, and it's nice to see another new vampire, especially one who seems so strong and willful (and female, of course) in comparison to dear Lucy. So did she rescue Alteng? Ooh they have history! 'Alteng was many thing, and most of them were not described with very nice adjectives' hehe awesome line - the s is missing off things though. Alteng kicked arse in this chapter. Seriously, it was awesome. 'I, Altenglisch Hans Cuxhaven, will not allow this to go any further' Yay he's such a hero! My imaginary Alteng flag is waving big time! And Olivier being armed was a nice addition - he's such a cute little crazy kobold with his two big kitchen knives. Bless. My favourite part was when the guy got his arm chopped off. Yes, I am surprisingly bloodthirsty, but I loved loved LOVED the irony. I feel that Lucifer and Alteng have more in common than Alteng would like to think (don't tell him I said that!), after all, they both had convictions strong enough to make them help save the girl. Despite all their many many differences and all. Haha, Alteng's fight comments was great - he is such a cocky little fellow, and that is why I love him! '“I know how to teleport!” he snapped back at her.' Ooh check Lucy out with his vampirey pride! This is a fun side to him. Very fun chapter - sorry I took so long! I am a pooey reviewer :(
faerie-gumdrops 2008-04-05 ch 11,	abuseOh my gosh I have been revising about plant meristems all day and it is killing me! I've finally finished at 12.30, so sorry if I seem a little insane here! It is so nice to read something non-biology related and entertaining right now! Oh I'm loving all of the kobold history so much! How strongly is it based off of the German folklore? It's awesome to find out how there became mine and house kobolds etc and how some people believe that they're the spirits of murdered children etc. And yay Wichtleins! How is Narrinda nowadays? I loved Alteng's revelation to Olivier 'I am a boy kobold, Olivier'. Also, the description of the festival was great. I liked the lights and the ribbons. I also liked the way that Alteng is jealous! And why he is almost calm and collected when those three come and spit at him - i am quite proud of him! And yes, they are right - never pick a fight with someone with a big sword, it never turns out well in the end. I like how you've shown the way that kobolds who believe in the customs treat poor Alteng badly - and I love how nice everyone is to Olivier the ex-cannibal, ex-ghost in comparison. Oh if only they knew! M pastries. I'm hungry now. 'If you cannot accept him, I have no business in courting you' yay go Olivier. It's great that for once he's the one standing up for Alteng, and not the other way around, especially as he's usually quite nervous and shy. 'The scholar was having an animated very one sided conversation with a bored looking female Kobold' Nice to see Josef working his magic on the ladies - I'm so glad that you decided to keep him in the story, he's so funny. 'I . . . feel a presence' Ooh sounds ominous! I wonder what it is. Ooh what is going to happen to this poor child? This chapter was awesome - history + festival fun = double yum, and I pat Alteng on the back for behaving himself so far - as Josef said 'You’re still alive and there’s no bloodshed yet!' I wonder how long it will last!
faerie-gumdrops 2008-04-02 ch 10,	abuseI like the way that you've shown Alteng's vulnerabilities and how his disability has affected him. I mean, he's all cocky most of the time, but it's nice to know that he has his weaknesses too. Oh your characters are all so yummy and three dimensional. Got to love that! Him helping Olivier get ready was really sweet. Also, I really liked the way that he imagines that he's with his parents when he's eating Madelyne's cooking. Aww he is quite sweet really. And he made Olivier wear a hat so he wouldn't get sunburnt and everything. I really hope that he can make things work with Ther. They would be a cute couple. 'Does all purple feel this way?' That line was really cool, nice and odd. Really liked it. Also, while we're on Olivier: 'You’re warm, and you smell nice' that was really cute! Olivier can be really weird sometimes, and his hug with Madelyne was very nice. 'You made a bow, didn’t you. I’m not a girl'...'Hush, boy! You are wearing more frills than Ther is' hehe this was the best! Alteng is great. Also, loved how even Friedrich was all cleaned up to wish them goodbye. It seems it takes a lot for that one to get done up nicely! So the festival is in the next chapter? Exciting! I'll probably drop by tomorrow to read more (revision is being really pooey at the moment and i haven't even started today's lot yet!).
faerie-gumdrops 2008-03-22 ch 9,	abuseOoh I didn't review as I read. Silly me. My memory is worse than your average goldfish's so I'll blatently miss something out - sorry if I do! I really liked Olivier amd Alteng in this chapter - like how Alteng lets Olivier get involved in the card game and how he sticks up for Olivier to Madelyne, and how Alteng helps Olivier along when he's lost. I love the relationship which has developed between these guys during the story - very gradually and realistically done. In general, I do think that I like the character developement and relationships the most in this story, eg Lucifer's increase inclusion. Plotwise, I'm still really looking forward to the festival! And it's nice to see the Preetz home again! I wonder whether Friedrich and David will come into things more often. I do really like Madelyne, even if she doesn't like Olivier. I mean, she does have fair enough reasons! I liked her reality check with Lucy ' There is no turning back. There is no use in worrying about what could have been or should have been. You live now, and you need to make decisions for the now and the future' she is so right. I liked this typo! 'Stephen unbridled the hose and led it to the others'. Anyway, nice chapter! Will check back for more soon!
faerie-gumdrops 2008-03-20 ch 8,	abuseHey, sorry about my lack of R&Ring - I completely suck. I'm snowed under with revision and it's completely exhausting keeping on top of everything. I swear, I am the worst reviewer ever, sorry! I'm really glad that you haven't stopped writing this one - it's seriously awesome and just about the only story I read regularly on here. Anyways, this chapter was really good; I especially loved the Olivier / Alteng action at the end. I loved seeing some of Olivier's darker side, and I think you did the creepy atmosphere and Alteng's reaction excellently. Also, you included the most brilliant line ever: 'the ladies won’t let you eat your children!' Hehe. Seriously, best line EVER. Also, loved Alteng's embarrassment at the end. Lucy's part was great too (not that I could ever not love a Lucy part due to my Lucy-fangirl status) and I really like the way he's lost hats to horses. Also, I loved the fact that Hans was upset about leaving too, even if he didn't let it show. Because I am an eternal lover of happy endings, I really hope these guys can sort it out. Oh yes, and Josef is fabulous as ever. I liked the part where he likens the food stain to Alteng. I do love the casual humour throughout this story - I know I've said it before, but you do seem to have a great twisted sense of humour!
Shadowhound 2008-03-13 ch 23,	abuseI thought I read ch. 22...I'm usually pretty bad about reading stories, so there's no guarantee. Anyway, good chapter. There's one thing I'd like to say about it, though. It was difficult to read. Every paragraph seems to go on and on and on forever. Try to break them up into smaller paragraphs. The content is fine, but it is easier to read in shorter doses than taking one long, exhaustingly tedious paragraph that you can't see the end of. So yes, shorter paragraphs, please. There's some paragraphs that when I held my hand against the screen it was bigger than fist was tall. That's pretty much my only real complaint. Shadowhound
Heartless One 2008-03-09 ch 23,	abuseGood as always. Keep it coming. I wanna see where all this comes to an end. If it comes to an end. Anyways. Later.
faerie-gumdrops 2008-03-03 ch 7,	abuseLet's hope those pants aren't Alteng's anyway! Hehe. Alteng's room sadly sounds a lot like mine - minus the straw. Hmm, I really need to tidy things up over here! This chapter was good, and I yay for Olivier preparing the meal by himself, even if it was undercooked. I'm so happy that he doesn't feel useless anymore. Still, yeah, I'd probably be quite freaked out too if I caught him stroking a knife and whispering to it. Loved Johann's 'who's for dinner' joke - Olivier does have a rather twisted past, doesn't he? Also, I like how you focussed on Hans for a bit in this chapter, it's nice to see why he's feeling so bitter about Lucy. I really hope that he can re-establish their relationship again, and it was sweet that he thought of Lucy as a father. A pretty strange father, but a father all the same! The Lucy and Johann part was fun too, although maybe put a break before the switch because I got a little confused at first (although I am insanely easy to confuse)! I must admit that the pants did make me laugh quite a bit! 'he was learning to become accustom to them' typo - accustom should be accustomed. 'a nasty glare that would scare any sane person. The elder ignore him' hehe no wonder; Johann is hardly 'any sane person', bless him. Also, interesting to hear more about Alteng's family, and how they contributed to the condemnation of black hair and the loss of hands. Ooh I do love a good bit of backstory! 'And you see what they spawned' hehe this was an awesome line. Anyhoo, really enjoyed this chapter (as ever)! Hope you're not still feeling that everyone's abandoned this - tis a great story!
faerie-gumdrops 2008-02-19 ch 6,	abuseAh breakfast in bed, how nice! Even if it is rats... Hehe, sorry, avid vegetarian here! I like the differences between kobolds and humans in the way that they look at rats, and yes it makes a lot of sense why kobolds would eat rats. 'His fresh fluffy new plumed quill moved with so much motion that it was a wonder that it did not carry the little scholar away' I loved this image. And I also love how Josef just keeps asking Lucifer all these questions about what it's like to be dead and how he's so eager to see Lucy feed- tact should never come in the way of academia after all lol. Josef's just always so bright and curious, I really like him. Poor William in this chapter. His arm does sound very painful and the way that it will eventually kill him is very sad (especially as he's such a gentle fellow). Lucky that kobolds are more resilient than humans, hey? Also, I like the way that he tested Lucifer - like Lucy's finally been given a chance to show that he won't turn on his new family. It's nice that now that William can trust Lucy a hundred percent, and is even asking him to help protect against any trouble that Alteng might cause. A pretty strange request given to a supposedly evil, violent killer! More nice development in people's opinions of Lucy (although Willie was always a nice guy to begin with). I'm really really extra excited about the festival now that I know there is the possibility of trouble. Because trouble is fun - especially when it's written by you. I wonder what Alteng will get up to, and whether Lucy will be successful in keeping things running smoothly. Also, yay for Hannah and William! I guess it really does take a strange type to be wooed by such poems (although, as I said in the last review, I totally would)!
faerie-gumdrops 2008-02-19 ch 5,	abuseAh Johann is so amazingly wicked! And tell your boyfriend that I absolutely love the poem at the end - It's so funny. I think that if anyone ever wrote that to me, I'd have to give it a go with them just because of its comedy value! I do think it's really cool how Johann, with his blonde hair, can be so mischievous while Lucifer is much more considerate, despite being a black-haired vampire. Dear Willie is so sweet. and as for his feelings towards Hannah, they do say that opposites attract! 'He loved Sil more than his own life, and her child was a brilliant star to his stained life ' Yes William is definitely a sweety. Also, nice attention to detail with him still not being able to write properly with his right hand. I'm really excited about the Festival of Meetings. I'm guessing that it could be quite fun! And Xavier is just so cute in a naughty-child kind of way - no wonder Lucy likes spending so much time with the little kid. And poor Lucy for thinking that he'd be a rubbish father, I mean, I'm sure he'd be very good if it wasn't for the whole teensy weensy issue of being one of the cursed undead. I like that Sil defended him against Hannah; poor Lucy always gets it so tough. I loved the way that the poem was revealed at the end - Josef is so great in his excitement about absolutely everything! And poor William for fainting. I thought that this chapter was really funny, and I'm loving Johann and his pranks more and more the more that I read. Nice job! And now onto the next one!
faerie-gumdrops 2008-02-16 ch 4,	abuseOh I hope that fictionpress doesn't eat this review! It has been all slow and horrible recently, and I definitely wouldn't put it past it. Anyway, yay it's chapter four of part four. I am alarmingly excited about all the fours - definitely comfirmation that I probably have no life. 'Dusk seeped over the grounds of the Cuxhaven estate once again' ooh I loved the description here, great imagery! Josef is cool. I love the idea of him oevranalysing every grain of soil in Lucifer's crate. 'still somewhere in your blood mixed in there with all those rodents that you drink from' ah, Johann really is a charmer isn't he lol. Haha that still sounds quite entertaining. It's not surprising really that Johann is the only one mad enough to drink what comes out of it! And I love how proud he is of it, with it being full of socks, toads etc. Well, a still is nothing without a resident toad, I suppose. And I loved it when he called Lucy a big wuss. M, blood and alcohol - that has got to be an extremely weird combination! I like the way that you described the way that Lucifer felt as he drank it - like how disgusting it was but that he'd make himself drink it all the same. And Josef falling unconscious was very fun! And it's nice that Lucy is beginning to feel hopeful about finding a cure for his condition - that guy really needs a break, poor Lucy! I really liked this chapter, especially the bonding between Johann and Lucy. And Johann is always fun in general, he's a great character; I love the way that he loves annoying everyone so much. And I might start calling William 'Willie' too now! Hehe. Also, sorry if the formatting is a bit odd on this review - I did it in too lots so did the whole thing on word and copied and pasted. I remember that used to make speech marks etc go a little crazy, but I think that it doesn't anymore, so hopefully this will be ok!

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