|
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Casey and the Sunshine Bear... 2006-11-30 ch 2, | abuseOkay... that girl is insane. |
| Nobody Wants Reality 2006-11-25 ch 1, | abuseInteresting idea. It kind of reminds me of something that would be in one of those "SAW" movies. Which I absolutely love. which obviously means i liked this piece too. It would be cool if you wrote about how that person got into a situation like that. It will clear up a little confusion for the reader. "He recalled splitting his lip, the salty iron-rich liquid warm against his tongue" - Good Description of the blood. Most writers usually just describe it as crimson or just liquid. I liked how you wrote out all the characters thoughts that he was having, like about the blood. It reveals his nervousness without directly stating "he was nervous as he saw the blood on his hands" or something. "He wept freely, cursing himself still." - Great Ending. ~ Nobody Wants Reality ~ |