I love the comparisons between the subject and nature. Lovely poem.

Firstly, thank you for the review. & thank you for the constructive criticism, it is not often that I get that, and it's definitely appreciated. I agree - my work does tend to be rather unorganized.. but I'll try and work on improving it in the future :)

Now, to the review. I enjoyed this piece. It is not often that I like poetry that rhymes.. however you managed the rhyme very effectively most of the time, without making it seem forced. I think you lost "control" here -
"Words always spoken in a whisper.

A voice so subtle like water,

So cool and fresh – juvenile."

The cool & fresh - juvenile part doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of it.. the words and the flow do not seem as beautiful as in the rest of the piece.. but that's just my opinion.

However, overall, I do love this, it's very nicely written.

Aw . . . this is sweet. Sad, but sweet. Good job!