 Amanda Drowry 2007-02-01 . chapter 1Very intriguing. I love the idea, and I am beginning to love the narrator. Something has happened to him, and you must continue writing because I want to know what it was.
As far as the title goes: I find the title interesting and intriguing the way it is. Thus far, having only read a small paragraph, I feel I cannot provide any title suggestions that would be better than what you already have. Continue writing, maybe your title will appear. |
 Sekhmet Johnson 2006-11-26 . chapter 1I must say, the manner of her death is extremely intriguing =]
Tell us more!
Suggestion: Break it up into paragraphs. It'll be easier to read and it'll flow better besides.
It's very thoughtful and ponderous, this piece is. I like the way he mulls over her death in such a logical way. It says a lot for his character.
Write on!
[And thanks for the review!] |