That's horribly distorted, yet beautiful in the powerful way it depicts the point of view. It's repulsive yet entrancing (and I don't mean that as an attack on your poem, more an observation of the emotional reaction to it). Very well done.

Wow. You've created a chilling image here. Great poem(?), Keep writing!

Wow, that image is really horrifying. You've done a great job of showing us this girl, but holy cow. Amazing work. Keep writing! :)

This isn't exactly a poem (or anything, really), but it's still horrific, scary, and gross. That's pretty incredible. In something that is neither story nor poem you've presented me with something terribly real and strikingly emotional. I'm impressed and frightened. I can only imagine what you would do with something longer than this rather pathetically short piece. It's good, but I want so much more. Expanding this into something longer would be amazing, but even now it's very good.

Chilling aneroxic poem. Great job.