Nice Janelle I like where this story is going. It really isn't too graphic so don't worry about that. I can't wait for the next chapter!!

hello again. I decided to grace you with yet another review. You're setting a good pace with story and your updates. Keep it up! Nnaliseaai

even if it was a bit graphic in the nature of the blood, it fit to describe how she's been altered by the shadows...

It's also a very good chapter. And I didn't see any errors reading through it because I was so absorbed in the reading of the story. Well done, that doesn't happen often. Good job, I'll bet the next chapter will be just as good.

fear and pain always is a dangerous mixture, I agree.

There is something about the way in which this is written that reminds me of the old world, I'm not sure how, perhaps it is the positioning of the words, in any case it is a good feeling, and it suits the theme of the story well.

Gothic mechanisms are always fun to play with...

If I were you, I would ignore what the last reviewer said. As far as I can see, I see no way in which you copied any element of any other story. Doubtless though, something must have inspired you. Doubtless, there will be similarities between this and some other book out there.

As they say, no idea is original anymore.

This doesn't take away from the fact that I believe this is a very well written piece, especially when you take into account the fact that you were 13 when you first started writing this.

Oh! A cliff-hander! Ah but you've always been very good at those, haven't you? A nice short chapter to grip the reader. A bite-size chunk ensnaring them and ensuring they never leave.

You do know copying a real author's story is illegal, right?

It's good as a frame. But it seems rushed. The atmosphere is kind of thin. As you said, you did two chapters in one day. You should take your time and create a setting that sticks with the reader (although it shouldn't overtake the plot). This story has some parts where the setting is there...and then other parts where the location seems to disappear and leave just the characters.
Anyway, as it stands, this is alright. Move a bit slower with more detail, and perhaps a bit more integration of the setting, however, and it will be better.

*laps for Jan-chan* I am happy to read more from you. Keep it up. I like to see more!

Nice to read stuff from you again. Keep up the good owrk, I want to read more!

Oh, it'll be interesting to read more of this. Keep on goin'. Again, so minor errors, but not enough to make me twitch. Great jop of the description of the house.

Yay! It's good to see your writing again. Meh, anyways, this is well written and gets the theme across well. There were a few errors...but all in all, very good. I won't bother listing them here.

Yay! You updated! I'm so excited!! What's going to happen? Please post the next chappy soon. Toodles, Nnaliseaai

This has my attention now. Could make it a bit longer but I think its great. Update soon!

That's rather interesting. I like your use of adjectives, the way that you make it so that she's not sure of what she's seeing and neither is the reader. An interesting concept as well. How old were you when you wrote this?