   AJS 2008-02-28 . chapter 34I think that you should know by now that I absolute adore these stories of yours. I'm heading onto book 4 after this. Well, after I do some homework, so book 4 might have to wait until tomorrow. But honestly, I think that I liked this story/book the least. I just feel like it was kind of all over the place - there wasn't really much of a plot. I mean I get that it was about Estela being stressed, and her planning Moo's wedding... but I guess I just feel like the plot wasn't really strong enough. It just more so felt like life in Estela's shoes, and that was it. I guess I just feel like this story was trying to cover too much, and in the process didn't really focus on one thing in particular. I mean, there were just so many little subplots, that I can't even really recall every single thing that happened.
Although I like Moo a lot, she kind of annoyed me in this story... a lot. I feel like she basically just dumped the whole thing on Estela and did nothing. Estela was doing practically everything! And that was so so frustrating and akldjflakfjadfl. It's okay. I still like Moo. It was just annoying.
There were a few things that caught my attention... I think that in chapter 3 when you redescribed how Moo and Estela met, it was kind of repetitive. I mean, I know you talked about it in Book 2, and that's separate from Book 3, but I just thought it was unnecessary and boring, especially since a lot of the descriptions of how they met were the same. In chapter 4, I thought that Audrey was going to stay at the hospital with Adam, but then later she's in the car on the way to Estela's family's house in Queens... and not with Adam. Also, on the phone, the General said that it wasn't possible for him to come to NY because of his work, but then he came to NY to talk to Marianna in person, which doesn't really make much sense... in chapter 5, this is kind of weird but I thought Estela had Cs, not Ds. I don't know if I just imagined or dreamed this or what. It could just be my memory. In Chapter 6, it says that Estela hadn't seen Scott since she went to the Waller company asking for info about Clare, but in book 2, I thought she talked to Scott after the whole fiasco with Gregory Waller and Scott told her how he had been friends with Christian, and did have some sorts of feelings for Olive. In chapter 7... it says that Christian told olive three times he didn't want her triplets, but I remember it being twice. Again, this could just be my memory. Small details. It also in this chapter says that Olive was due any day, but then it switches to Olive being 1 month early in delivering her triplets. Umm for Mamdame... I forget her name. But she calls Estela "mon petit," but really that's for a guy so for a girl she would probably say, "ma petite." In chapter 22, Estela recalled the dance that she asked Darren to to be in sophomore year, but wasn't that in 8th grade? I'm really unsure about this. It could definitely be wrong. You're probably right. in chapter 23 when Estela was paying to use the internet, why couldn't she have just used her blackberry and then she wouldn't have to pay? I know that American phones usually work in Europe. Also, what happened to Stella being sick? It seemed like in the beginning she DID get sick from Adam, and then suddenly that just disappeared. Oscar seemed a little out of character in this story. I mean, he suddenly turned into a gay guy, who was more stereotypically gay, but when you first introduced him in book 1, he seemed a lot more stuck up and snobby. I know that he's obviously changed and opened up and become a friend of Stela's, but at the same time... I don't know. It was just weird. Something seemed a little off. In chapter 26, you described Harriet to be 5'3, Daisy's height, but when you first introduced Daisy, she was 5'5. in Chapter 28, Jeremy said that his parents live in California, but if that's true, then why was Sandy staying with his parents for the night in a previous book, when Moo was all sad that Jeremy's mom absolutely hated her? Also, I thought that Caleb said he wasn't going to sign contracts with kat Miller anymore, after Milan, but then in the end he said he would. And this is just a general thing, and I usually don't even comment on grammar errors because people have typos and I mean, duh, doesn't everyone? But one thing that kind of got annoying was the "someone and me" things... but a lot of the times you would put "me and someone" or "someone and me" when it should be "I." Ah. Sorry. That's just a pet peeve :x
Anyways, the point of this review isn't to be mean and point out all the things wrong with your story. I feel really mean though. So I'll say this. I like how you brought up the whole Adam and Estela thing in the very beginning of the story. It's an interesting topic, and especially how Caleb seemed so insecure. I found this interesting because I had always just regarded Adam and Estela's banter as that of siblings, you know, how siblings fight all the time, but it was interesting to see that interpreted as something else. I was actually surprised to find out that all this time, Adam didn't even have Estela's number.
Um what else? I'm really glad that Moo finally stood up for herself, and to her mother of all people. That was a long time coming kind of thing, and I'm really glad that you had that happen.
I don't know. I mean I don't want to be a total downer but I really do just feel like there just really wasn't much direction to this story. I know that things definitely CHANGED in this story, but I feel like you introduced a lot, but left a lot hanging as well. Such as the way you had this whole thing with Olive, and then suddenly all is well and Olive is out of Stela's life completely. Or Estela's father. She went to DC to visit him and the only element that comes back from that trip is Daisy and Harriet. Or Kat Miller. If the Victoria's Secret people saw her acting so unprofessionally, how come she's still such a rising star and blooming in business? Didn't Moo say that they would not want to work with her again, seeing that?
I don't know. I guess I was a little disappointed. There wasn't a lot of Caleb in this story. It was just... Stela' worrying her heart out about everyone except for herself. I don't really think that can be classified as selfish either, because if you think about it, that's pretty selfless... but I don't know. alfkjlfkjaf Blah. I'll go do homework. Don't worry. I still love Estela & Caleb and Adam and Moo and all your other characters. Er. Maybe not Kat Miller or Moo's mom. Or Dr. Pervo. Or Rebecca. or Yasmin. Okay. Maybe I should just stop :)
Thanks for writing this. It still was a fun read~ I actually realized after book 2, that I read one of your stories before! I KNEW your penname sounded so familiar!! Haha. I totally remember Chemical Games too.
Anyways. Bye!
-- Alyssa |
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