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Reviews For: Hit Your Head, Sail the Sea
fatbird33 2008-07-15 . chapter 1
i liked number ten
MacFluffers 2007-11-04 . chapter 1
First off...I just need to say that a previous reviewer is an idiot. Those were definitely haiku...

Anyway, back on topic...those were pretty nice. For someone like me, who normally goes numb at the thought of a rhyming haiku, themes 2, 5, and 8 were really nice.

The large gap between rhymes in theme 7, however, is too large by two or three syllables for it to work well. I thought it was awkward.

Theme 2 had an interesting scheme. You used an unorthodox 4-line format, and had an ABCB rhyme scheme, making it even more odd. However, you made it work (and you had a perfect syllable count), so I can't say it's bad.

I don't feel that theme 10 had properly lengthened lines. It would have made more sense as a two-line haiku. Still, you had 17 syllables, therefore it's a matter of how it's read, so it might just be me.

I know this advice is probably pretty stupid, since you wrote this a year ago, and you've probably improved by now. :P Oh well. I hope you don't mind.
Lady Lilliana 2007-01-14 . chapter 1
9, 10 and 4 were my favourites. Check out my bio, I've got a new poem up!
bagle-worm 2006-12-01 . chapter 1
Those aren't haikus.
ha.
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