Wow, a well written, heartfelt essay. Ill check out more of your stuff now!

A heartfelt plea. Logical, and quite cute.

Em

I'm a year late to review this, but it's so cute that I just can't help putting my paw prints (crumb prints?) on it by reviewing.

Never mind the fact that it's a very logical and passionate argument, I just find the idea of having to persuade your parents to join a literary site the ultimate young nerd gesture. Adorable.

Do they track your progress too? Are they proud? Do they know that they have the next T.S. Elliot under their roof?

And from your writing, I can't imagine you being too young. 14 now at youngest? Any younger and I'm going to have to seriously rethink my own mental capabilities.

No 3 Fan!

Bread

This essay shows that you were passionate about joining Fictionpress. I'm grateful you joined with your parent's permission, because it truly is the best way.

Elizabeth White

Wow. First, you vocabulary and use of words was unbelivable - how old are you? Second, how strict are your parents that you would have to write this to get permission to join fictionpress. Also, if you're so interested in writing, you should check out

It's wonderful finding another great author out there whose stories I can read. ( By saying this I am not calling myself a great author because that would be showing hubris and wouldn't be polite) I hope to read more of your work soon and maybe (please!) get a review (or two...or five) from you. Keep up the good writing.

neptuneshelly

Yeah.. I take it that this is an older piece (I can read dates, yippee!) but I thought I'd comment anyway. Dude, you should be on a debate team or something because that was awesome. Lol. When I try to get something from my parents, I use arguments like "it's not fair" and "I never get to do anything". Little kid stuff, ya know? This is just... wow. It's so mature. Lol. Goodbye.

No offense but your parents are a bit too controlling. One of these days you're going to get so sick of it that you'll revolt. Mark my words.

How did I find you? I searched for "Christopher Fox" because I recalled that you said you'd posted the work on here. Muahahaha. Sneaky one, I am...

Your stalker,

Bri

(If parents are reading this, the stalker thing is a joke. I'm his friend who is not attempting to corrupt your son.)

You create a strong logos in your piece, and that ultimately is the deciding factor. However, the parent figures in your piece represent something reminiscent of a mid-western, strong Christian belief. Thus, reinforcing a strong ethos on your part might have been additionally effective. One way one might do this, based on your characterization of the parent characters, would be to show how you as an individual feel strongly about your personal ethical beliefs, and that you would like to share your strong moral center as a pinnacle for the rest of the world. You indirectly refer to this in your argument that you would like to "share your accomplishment with other people who share your interest, with the world?" That sentence actually was a weak point; while finding people who share your interest is certainly understandable, sharing your "accomplishment" might sound just a tiny bit facetious-instead, the real accomplishment is the impact you have on those that read what you write.

While I would expect the parent figures to agree with this piece, I would expect that their requirements for access to it might come with contigencies. Of them, the installation of anti-spyware (while *viruses* are very rare in text-only sites, the amount of advertisements on fictionpress is quite impressive. For the sake of avoiding unnecessary pop-ups and lowering of computer performance, "Google Pop-up Blocker" and "Spybot" should both probably be requirements). Further, I would expect the requirement that one not read any "M" rated stories without parental supervision. Incidentally, this would result in one reading something like half of my (MrFlames) pieces on fictionpress with the parents. And the thought of someone reading my pieces with their parents fills my heart with incredible joy, and I would certainly hope for a splendid review, mwahaha[ed: insert additional laughter here].

I wonder how much better fictionpress would be if people actually had to work to be a part of it. Probably not much. Requirements warp the imagination, alas.

All in all, I imagine that the parent characters are shaping the mind of the narrator in such a way that any sort of real creative enterprise that sought to explore the indirect and subconscious directions of the narrator will not be expressed satisfactorally in their experience with this place. . . the sensation that one was "being judged" or "being watched" would be always present. The sensation of "being judged" is something one cannot imagine unless one has been without it. But of course, this is just me "animating" the narrator character for my own amusment, as, after all, most people are suckers for oppressed narrators.

You've done a good job of expressing an interesting scenario here-what will the narrator do next? Will he successfully post his fiction, or once he actually has reached his desire, will he find that the satisfaction he gains is far more ephmeral than he imagined? There could be quite exciting follow-ups to this piece, especially if the narrator went crazy and started attacking people with a pickaxe. But then I am perhaps too much of a fan of violence.

Also, wouldn't "Bogeyman" be an evil snot creature? I do believe it's "boogeyman" perhaps. Alternatively, "Boogieman" might be an evil 70s-dance monster.

"own personal" is redundant.

I absolutely love your characterization of the internet. "shitfy eyes and baited hooks". I think we all know who provides those eyes and hooks. That's right, people like me. Mwaha [ed: stop with the laughter already!].

The end. Good luck and godspeed.

Wow, very impressive.

The vocabulary used was phenomenal as well. I loved how you made references to ancient storytelling. Plus, you further proved the safety issue by clearly explaining that an email is the only information that is truly required. You were very persuasive in my opinion, and evidently, you succeeded in your goal. You've gained my respect. Wonderful job! I hope to read more of your work in the future!

Wow... you had to write this to make them let you?

I did it without permission but my parents were fine with it when they found out. Hehe... I'm impulsive.

Good job, glad to have you aboard. Keep up the good work, E.

What the hell kind of parents do you have, boy?

How old are you?

They're being unreasonable. Do it anyway, the best way to protest an unfair rule is to systematically break it in accordance with principle.

So.. they let you join eh?

Welcome and

wow.

That was a great essay (good examples, word choice and past all that 1-6 scale grading, it had heart).

The thing I don't get though, is why you didn't just sign up and not tell them?

Anyhow, great job. Hope to see you around here in the future.