Too bad it's someday, instead of today. Good piece.

~Twilight Starr~

This was kind of confusing to me.
Everything seems to run together.
Maybe if you arranged it differently...?

There's a lot of uncertainty in this (the use of 'someday') as well as an impulsive sense of bravado and stubbornness (the repetition of 'i won't'). It feels more like a poem that should be broken down rather than the mini-prose that you've written it in, but that's just me. I like this more than your bottemless world piece, though.