Normally I don't review things posted so long ago. Searching "Alice in Wonderland" and finding this seriously elevated my mood. The best Alice inspired piece I've read. It's very quotable, especially the last two lines. I especially adore "She shakes her head, and as the Queen leaves, she utters that I am a monster."

"Oh, the desire, the craving, the incessant twitch is utterly unbearable...!" I found the ...! at the end amusing. ^^

((favorited))

~DeeAnna

the link between alice and insanity/drugs, I find, a tried and testing one; so rarely does it seem so original. Particularly distinctive is your use of wonderland metaphor (as you began to weave such descriptive poetry as "No prying eyes of a March Hare or the penetrating shriek of a violent Mad Hatter" I did find myself picturing an institution filled with playing card orderlies; so you can imagine my glee when I found the description of Alice's entire world handled in such a way :D ).

I also like the depth of understanding given to Alice's bloodlust; the emphasis on crimson life, and the contrast she draws between that and skin, even the suggestion that blood makes a person beautiful, and that they shouldn't hide such beauty away in their veins. Gives violent psychosis so much more flavour when you can understand the (twisted) desire behind it.

I found the fight scene the hardest part of the story to read, but then, I suppose, action always is a difficulty to express. What do you think?

couple of petty points, if you're interested;

"This places is for the demons society had given up on" - gave up on?

"If not only to escape to give way to chase…" - erm, i see what you mean here, even if you get caught; try and escape just to enjoy the chase? i just think it might be worded a littler better... not immediatly sure how though.

" smirk in the dark, and with correct calculations, I remove the bars and with the skill of the Cheshire Cat, hang loose from the vent," - I smirk in the dark and, with the correct calculations, remove the bars. With the skill of the Chesire Cat, I hang loose from the vent,"

"She proclaims loudly to not try to escape the place any longer" - she proclaims loudly not to try and escape this place again?

I think I'll go away and read Alice in Wonderland, then maybe come back and post some more thoughts.

ps. escaping through a vent like diving down the rabbit hole - genius.

wow. I love it. Sorry fro the crappy comment but I can think of no words to describe it.Its just awesome...

YES! I love it! You far surpassed my own horrer! The descriptions were uncanny.. Ah schitzo.. or truly sane such a wonderful world you've made! Poor Alice trapped once more in wonderland!

Ryumaru