A very interesting and beautiful poem. It sometimes lost its "flow", but in the end it is a good piece of work and wonderful poetry. Well done, indeed!

Ingenious. I love! *favs*

hmm. i think the idea is a good one, but the execution of it didn't turn out so well. too much angstiness for the kind of poem i think you were going for. i'm not too fond of line 9. lines 10 and 11 sound like a commercial, but that might just be me. Also, not a big fan of the exclamation point near the end.

on the other hand, you have some really nice imagery in lines 1, 2, and 12, and i also like "so all that is left/ are the black and the white/which is exactly what/you started with." and, like i said, i really like the metaphor.

I love the metaphor. Excellent job.

-adds to favourties-

Rowan.

Nice metaphor... comparing yourself to a crayon.

I was worried it would be cliched but you did an awsome job of making this flow. Great imagery and you carried the metaphor throughout the whole piece. Very complete.

I loved it. Harsh at the end. Beautiful.

Write on.

Lovely choice of metaphor. I would never have thought of crayons being used to describe that, but it works beautifully.