Reviews for Cell 153 - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: Cell 153

Jon Lassik 2007-02-04 ch 1,	abuseIn response to the below review, take into consideration the fact that, while the CIA no doubt keeps it's operatives informed of what the situation is, it also teaches them how to withold information believably in the event of capture or interrogation. And anyway, a driver told to make a pickup may not be informed of the destination prior to the event simply in order to have fewer people "in the know." Thank you, as always, for keeping me sharp.
Kelaia 2007-02-04 ch 4,	abuseSo they're gonna get Little to assasinate this Saudi-arabian guy? That should be interesting. I just wasn't all that sure about the first part of the chapter, with the CIA man not knowing where Little was. I suppose it's possible he wouldn't have been told, but it seems very inlikely.
Dani P 2007-02-02 ch 4,	abusenow its starting to get real interesting..and you stepped away from first person point of view, which honestly this is your best chapter by far. I'd consider switching to 3rd person the whole time and you'll avoid the similarities in sentence structure that ive been telling you about. cant wait for the next chapter :-D
Dani P 2007-01-31 ch 3,	abuseinteresting chapter..specially the last few lines. very interesting, way to keep everyone guessing. A tip, that I had mentioned briefly before is that you should mike up your sentence structures. You use alot of I did, He did etc... its telling the reader what is happening not showing them so they can create a picture in their mind. ex: "He entered the long hall to his office and spotted Sainsbury turning left toward the exit at the end." Correction: Entering the long hall to his office he spotted Sainsbury turning left toward the exit. Also maybe add some more descriptions about the scenery ex: Entering the long hall to his office he spotted Sainsbury turning left down a dark corridor toward the glowing exit sign. something like that. It'll make the story come alive more. anywho work on that and i can't wait to read the next chapter.
ByFyreLyte 2007-01-21 ch 3,	abusePretty sweet, the description of the van's inside was thorough. Gonna need to read through the last two to catch up, though.
Kelaia 2007-01-21 ch 3,	abuseI love your style of writing. You manage to create lots of suspense, and the action sequences are great (not that there were really any in this chapter, but I forgot to mention it in the last review). Can't wait to find out who all these people really are!
Darlian 2007-01-21 ch 3,	abuseHm... What IS going on? A conspiracy? The last scene sounds ominous.
ByFyreLyte 2006-12-12 ch 2,	abuseNot a bad beginning (247's my address lol). You used an incredibly intense description of the firefight, which makes me wonder if you have a military background. Cryptic plot so far, yet enough to give the reader an idea as to where you're going with this. Minor spelling/grammar errors, but nothing too diminishing to the flow of the story. All in all, one of the best action stories I've read on FP in some time.
Dani P 2006-12-09 ch 1,	abuse"it’s a standard issue M9 with a suppressor". i think you mean silencer not suppressor here. Nice to see an update, even if its not that long. Again, watch when you begin your sentence with an I, if you do it to much it gets annoying. Switch up your sentence structures..if you dont know what im talking bout msg me and ill explain. keep updating!
Kelaia 2006-12-08 ch 2,	abuseThis is a very intriguing introduction, and really makes me want to read more. Nice writing, apart from the occasional spelling/grammar mistake. Waiting for your next update...:)
Dani P 2006-12-07 ch 2,	abusei like the story, nice idea and great way to start it. however, be careful of starting to many sentences off w/ I, He, and, We. Show the readers what is happening, dont tell. First person makes this harder to do but just work at it and try varying sentence structure. Other than that, nice job, cant wait to read more.
Moonlite Star 2006-12-06 ch 2,	abuseInteresting story you've got going. Do continue. :) I'd like to add this to my C2, if you don't mind...lemme know!
Darlian 2006-12-06 ch 2,	abuseWell, that was a speedy escape. 247, huh? Fascinating...
Ryan Cummins 2006-12-06 ch 1,	abuseGreat visuals. I really liek the story. I don't reallt see where the story is going but I feel like I am getting to know Little. Keep up the good work.

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