Excellent dialogue :)

"You know I am not very good that sort of thing."
"I know that's why I called you a sissy.
-- Loved the bit of humour!

Excellent start!

wow that was fucked up. Very interesting though :)

Weird shit. T.T

Great story. I liked the happy ending. It was great that he showed mercy. It's good to have a society built on that. Brilliant work.

~Twilight Starr~

They finally have a plan. The description of how reality reall is was interesting and unique. Nice work.

~Twilight Starr~

They really enjoy torturing the guys. I can't see how they going to escape so nice job on not making things predictability and making things interesting.

~Twilight Starr~

It sounds Kashawna might be a real ally. Nice chapter. Good dialogue.

~Twilight Starr~

I can't believe she did that in front of her daughters and enjoyed it. These are really sick people. Terrific job describing his feelings. Poor guy.

~Twilight Starr~

His follow man shows very unusual. Inmates are forced through childbirth. That's great and original. Nice work. Very original and unique story.

~Twilight Starr~

Poor Ralph. That's awful. Great job on describing his feelings. The outfit was humorous. Nice work.

~Twilight Starr~

Well, that sucks. It sounds like the queen would have liked to have a chance with John. He basically killed her in self-defense. I wonder if he gets a lawyer. No lawyer would probably defend him. Nice work. You certainly make things entertaining.

~Twilight Starr~

To watch the videos was a smart request. I'm interested to see what happens next. You tell the story well.

~Twilight Starr~

It sounds like Ralph has a bad past. I wonder if they can defeat Thora. It doesn't sound like their odds are good. Nice work.

~Twilight Starr~

I think I'm going to feel sorry for this guys. Life on Mars certainly sounds interesting. Nice job on description. The singing was funny.

~Twilight Starr~