Reviews for The Covenant - FictionPress.com

Reviews For: The Covenant

MormMonster33 2008-07-09 ch 3,	abuseThis is great! I'm intrigued, so far I've only read up to chapter 3 (mainly because I spend too much time on my PC and my eyes have begun to hurt) but you've really got me hooked. You've managed to show the story from the separate points of view without making it sound like it's the same people writing it - you've got inside your characters heads. I like the fact that the Mayor and Dominick know what is going on but Anya doesn't, it builds tension and reveals enough of what is going on without giving it all away at once. And you can't help but wonder how Anya will react when she fully understands what is happening to her. I shall add 'The Covenant' to favourites and come back often. Good luck with the rest!
Medieval-Rogue 2007-06-18 ch 3,	abusesighs You have continued the same talent displayed thus far. Anya is an interesting character, and I'm glad you gave her reasons for spying- writing material? She's somewhat a rebel against society in the fact that she doesn't want to just pick corn and survive- she wants to live life her way, even if it's only a little different than others. Her shock is realistic, and I'm wondering what her reaction will be when she's taken fully away. Perhaps a small detail that says she actually heard the mayor's conversation and perhaps her feelings for a moment on them after she falls will be a good addition- though she did bump her head... You've done a very good job of portraying the Imperial Guard as well, showing that they're following orders but not at all happy about it, and that it stings for them to do these things. Another chapter well done!
Medieval-Rogue 2007-06-18 ch 2,	abuseI will say first of all that I reread chapter one (I am sorry I am such a sporadic reader/reviewer- but I guess that's just living life), and loved it. I can't quite remember how it was the last time I read it, but this time it truly was lovely- extreme cookies for such a wonderful revision. As for this chapter...my goodness. It has been quite a while since I found a new story that has kept me rapt with attention within such a short amount of time- the mark of a potentially great writer. I don't know what this chapter was like before this revision, but as it is now, it is...golden. Before I believe that I said there is not enough detail, and I think the reason it seemed such was because the lack made it hard to understand the story. Now, however, there is still only the necessary detail - both a good and bad thing - but events are clear, and I will definitely say...interesting. I'm loving the plot as it is now - most unique - and though I think you should include more information concerning the circumstances surrounding this treaty, I'm sure you'll get to that in future chapters. I am extremely glad I added you to Rare Gems. ^_^ Many Cheers!
Rosey Prosey 2007-05-30 ch 11,	abuse^^ I like this so far. It has an interesting plot, and you've done a good job incorperating a lot of well-rounded characters without making the story too confusing. Also, the POV shifts give an opprotunity for some helpful perspective and insight. The only thing that you might want to take into consideration is grammar; I noticed a few sentences that I had to re-read a couple of times because a random word or comma was missing. However, if you don't really feel like revising your work, you can just get a friend to beta-read (plus, it's a lot easier for other people to spot your mistakes). Keep up the good work!
Litty122 2007-05-25 ch 1,	abuseGreat story. Can't wait to read the rest ^^
Deprecor 2007-01-15 ch 6,	abuseWell thought out plot and interesting view point changes that don't disrupt the flow- good job on writing this. My only advice is perhaps combining some of the shorter sentences with the others, but besides that it's really well written.
K.Andrews 2007-01-06 ch 6,	abuseI loved it, liked the idea of different characters POV in each chapter, made it even more interesting and entertaining. Can't wait for the next chapter!
Medieval-Rogue 2007-01-04 ch 1,	abusesmiles gently I will add this story to the C2. I believe the first critic that popped into my head, though, began with the first sentence. "Decades had passed since the Royal Guard came to Isen," is how I would reword it, because the way it is now does not give the strength that a first sentence in any story should. It is, however, a very mysterious, and ergo captivating, way of beginning. Spelling and Grammar are rarely a hard thing to fix, and I don't believe I found any...but the way sentences are worded is essentially your biggest asset...or weakness. In this case, it mingles between both. For example, 'His face was rough with stubble. Curly brown locks fell gently in front of a pair of crisp green eyes that appeared more vivid in the storm.' The sentence that describes his stubble seems too short, whereas the description of the soldier's eyes seems too long (I think you could simply remove the word 'crisp' and it would be better, because it is followed up with 'vivid'). Going along with that, there is a lot of...detail that is missing. This is the first chapter, and though there is such a thing as too much detail, there is also a thing as not enough. The best example I can see here is the main character's trek from his home to the townhouse. First of all, why is he going to the townhouse (as opposed to another place or even at all)? How did this man know it was the Royal Guard, or was he simply stirring at commotion in the streets? Answer those questions and you won't be giving too much away, and also describe his walk to the townhouse. Uneventful actions like this are GREAT places to reveal a characters thoughts, especially in first person perspective. Speaking of which, this is another area that seemed...lacking. Perspective from this character. Specifically, why did he decide to follow the mayor and soldiers? What prompted him to do that, and what does he think of either? Though it sounds like I'm only pointing out the bad, it's because I feel this is so close to...success that I want to help you along. But, I also read your profile, which requested critic, so I really hope this helps. Though I can't tell much of the plot or character, as this was a short first chapter and I don't know much of it yet, I feel it has a foot in the right direction and will continue reading (and reviewing). Welcome to Rare Gems, and continue the great effort! ^_^
Redd 2006-12-09 ch 2,	abuseYes! And I got to pop your Review Cherry! Hehe, I loved it!

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