FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| simpleplan13 2007-01-30 ch 1,  | abuseTo long without air...too I like the last two lines... i didnt expect it.. nice piece... I also liek the extended haiku, but the first line is a syllable short... maybe you meant to put the clouds... the imager is nice as well |
| Nemonus 2007-01-21 ch 1, | abuseAs haiku go, they don't acheive their purpose, which is peacefullness and contemplation. As an angsty poem, this is is pretty good with taking the emotions and making them imagery. Possibly the real point of this review: "I've met Robert Patrick and ALL of The Lone Gunmen" I AM jealous. ! |
| Morte d'Amour 2006-12-09 ch 1, | abuseThis is wonderful! Very emotional and something I can relate to on the deepest meanings. The only thing I would say is that it'd look better if you put dashes or lines to break each one up. My favorite lines are "Locked inside this cage, / No one sees that I’m in hell, / Chained against the wall." I relate the most those that. No one sees and because they don't see, they don't understand your pain, and it makes everything worse...maybe even makes you feel more alone. Thanks for writing this. Keep up the good work. :) |