FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Silently Broken-Aparty 2007-02-16 ch 1,  | abuseThis was really touching. I really liked it, one of my favirotes by far! keep up the good work! |
| TryNotTo 2007-02-14 ch 1, | abuseIt flows, but I think you could put a little more emotion in it. It just seems like you don't really care too much. Good job, though. ~ Rebecca |
| angel953 2006-12-26 ch 1, | abuseo...whos this about?? great poem. |
| Black and White Dreams 2006-12-22 ch 1, | abuse"Might have just lost My respect for you For allowing me to kiss you so soon Think twice before you just allow that" Love that part. Very good job. Flows nicely. Powerful. Great job. *~Black and White Dreams~* |
| Ashelin 2006-12-16 ch 1, | abuseIt is kind of short for a song, and doesn't really have a chorus. I don't know, I'm not an expert anyway. I like the topic though. And it has a really nice flow. Good job. |
| Taltush/MeiMei 2006-12-16 ch 1, | abuseFor some odd reason this makes me think of the word "casual". It's kind of like that, I guess. Not beautiful, but nice and kind of slick, if that makes sense (which I doubt it does, but the tired mind reviews poorly). I definitely like the short lines because they make it easier to read, and the last two lines certainly sum up the mood. It's nice. |
| Tipped 2006-12-16 ch 1, | abuseI thoroughly enjoyed this. Up until now, I had no way to describe even to myself how I was feeling, but this captured it, perfectly. "Might have just lost// my respect for you// for allowing me to kiss you so soon" I like how those lines flow so well. As does everything else, but those lines especially stood out in my mind. I do kind of see where you went a little off topic, but it's still a very nice piece. Keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your work. |
| Vexed and Tired 2006-12-16 ch 1, | abusesome stuff I don't really get "Now my one feel"- well that doesn't really make much sense to be honest. Perhaps you meant "Now my one feeling" "I could care less"- you mean "couldn't", right? Now criticism is over, I think this song has a very powerful feeling to it, as though you are an indifferent being. JessiX |
| CielNombreUnDeesse 2006-12-12 ch 1, | abuse'So long Farewell Forgive but won’t forget Remember I lost your respect' ^_^ i love this part |