FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| Casey Drake 2006-12-22 ch 7,  | abuse...COOL!! :D CD |
| Katzness 2006-12-14 ch 7, anon. | abuseOh that's really cool! With every story you continue to get better at this writing thing. Everything just flows perfectly and I really like this story. It's different from your other ones, this and 'Bullet Proof' are probably my favorites. I like the whole prophecies going on in most of your stories too. Are they all going to tie together sometime? Ah, so he was a God. Shiny idea, I never thought to write about any of the gods on my planet-thing. That could make for some interesting stories. Keep up the good work! Katz~ |
| Frore 2006-12-12 ch 2, | abuse"They were more than just copper-colored; they were centuries deep, intriguing, and at that moment, wide with concealed fright lying just beyond the surface." Great description! Now that's what I like to see. Perfect example of "showing" and not "telling." Keep going with this. =) |
| Frore 2006-12-12 ch 1, | abuseInteresting story - I love gaiaonline contests. XD I am glad that you describe things. Maybe try to throw in a little sensory detail? Ah, Twilight by Stephenie Meyer... I've read many vampire books, and that is one of my least favorites. I would use her writing style to demonstrate exactly how NOT to write, because I found the entire thing very flat, underdeveloped, and boring. Now, "At Twilight" by Maggie Shayne is an entirely different story, so long as you have a tolerance for a little sexual content. Very gripping. I highly recommend it. Anyway! I will read on to the next chapter. Keep writing! |