I absolutely loved your story. It was really unique and I personally love happy endings.

OMG! That was so adorably cute! I gotta go read the sequel now bye!

I like how you repeated the flashback in Bruce's dream. I do wonder what happened with that gunshot in chapter 14... and who Chiquita is, though I have a guess. :P

Aw, Jaden is so cute ^^ He really talks like a three-year-old. And I like Bruce, and his sense of humour even in dangerous situations. Selena must have had a very hard life though, to lose trust in everyone...

Wow... when that steely voice turned up in the cabin my heart actually skipped a beat, I was so into the story :P Interesting how Brad became like he is. It's good to have the back story~ ^^

Ooh, I like this story so far! ^^ It's very interesting, I keep having to click the "next" button and ignoring my German homework :P Poor Lola though... at least she's escaped now and is finally reunited with Jaden! ^^ Though I guess Brad won't just let that happen without doing something... ouch... >.< Must read more!

Great beginning! I like how you bring in the past happenings through the story Lola is typing, instead of a flashback. So far the story is already really interesting! I'll have to read more soon~ ^^ I'm already wondering about Brad and why he had the parents killed, and also what happened to Jaden.

nice begining

Some potential writers dont get the readers into it with the first chatper,and I would have to say that...youre not one of them.
I am gripped

Wow!Great story.I liked it a lot.now I can't wait to read the sequel.I hope Bruce and Lola are together there..

Good start, but it lacks emotion. It is written in the first person, take advantage of this. Intertwine her personality with the writting style, let her give personal oppinions on things, describe everything as she sees it, not as a spectator.

Sorry...I'm reading on. But that chapter(chapter 6) was the coolest one. I jumped up and down when Bruce made a copy of the story. I was all clapping.

Man I'm getting to emotionally attached to this story lol.

Once again. Great!

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG! sorry..i've been a little behind on a lot of reading lately..so i just now finished this..i'm so sorry...THIS IS SO AWESOME! congrats! WOOT WOOT! THIS WAS A TOTALLY AWESOME STORY..I LOVED IT! i can't wait to read the sequel!
galaxyruler

poor selena! which guy got out of that basement?!? will Juanita betray them?!? i've gotta know! i've gotta know!

AH! WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN?!? WILL HE GET THEM?!? AH! A CLIFF HANGER! NICE CHAPPIE! GOTTA READ THE NEXT CHAPTER!