You really need to update!! I reread this story and it is so amazing, but it really needs to get longer!

I remembered reading this band story ages ago, and for the life of me I couldn't remember the author or even the name. Then I came on here to nosey at your other stories and I stumbled upon it again and I'm so glad I did!

I really like this story. Considering how protective Dan was of Jess, I think he might still hopefully like her!
Her dads a complete bum, and I'm completely excited to find out who Nicky is!

Please update again, I really like this!

NO no no no no! I hate you! You just can't leave me hanging there! I love this story, the plot and idea behind it all is really good!! You tend to repeat a phrase tho, like in the interview, "and it just went from there." Change it up a little more and it would be much better. Also, (yes, I know I am being very thorough with my editing. . .it's helpful to you I hope!)if you write out little character sheets on your computer and make each character a different and unique personality, and then try hard to convey that in your story, it will improve a lot. Even if you don't convey it well, when you know what they are like and who they are, that will automatically transfer into your writing. You are so horrible, leaving me like that so now you have to update or I will get very mad at you. So Ha! Not really. Keep writing! You are so great and I am so jealous!>( I still love your writing though!

The interview... was vague. Very Unrealistic.

This sounded awkward: 'Today, we were being interviewed by Cassandra Williams, who all of the big time celebrities like to be interviewed by.' You repeated 'interviewed by' twice in one sentence.

The feelings that Jessica has for Dan needs more depth. There werent that many emotions depicted. It was kind of weird when she ran back into the bunks since she didnt explain why.

Near the ending of the chapter you changed from past tense to present. 'As I heard the crowd’s cheers and screams, I allowed the adrenalin to rush through my veins. That didn’t last long, because I felt a hand shove me in the direction of the stage, and the next thing I know, I’m on the stage.

Behind me, I now see Noelle, Dan, Nate, and Dylan all ready, and in front of me, I see an entire ocean of fans, but nothing is said for about ten seconds. I usually open with few brief lines, but for some reason nothing comes out of my mouth.' Notice?

Just a few words incorrectly spelt. But then again, neither am I perfect. The concert was WAY to vague. Not much description. Remember to use your five senses! TASTE,SIGHT,SMELL,TOUCH AND HEARING!

Just some constructive criticism.
Isabella.x
Ps. dont get discouraged! You did a good job!

Some of her inner thoughts weren't needed. More description could have been better as well.

I liked the prologue. Problem was there was not much action involved. It was if it was from the top of her head. You could of set a scene and explained each of them or gradually explain their appearance and personalities.

Just a thought
Isabella.x

Show and not tell.
One of the main rules for writing.
So this whole prolouge did not work for me at all.
AT ALL.

emo. Agh wtf. Emo is so ** gay.

Hail Metal, true guitar/drum/bass/vocal music. Die emo.

This chapter was very good and amusing. For some reason that I cannot explain, I found it funny that you refused to actually spell out the word "**" so you put the dollar signs for the S's instead. Update soon!

Awesome start, I hope you update soon!

i kinda like it! It's just that this chapter is pretty short! Anyways, i hope you UPDATE soon!

Yay! A band story! I am always looking for a band story and it's always hard to find a good one, and then I found this. I have enjoyed this and I hope you continue.