perfect.

the first part was the best. but i also liked the note he left her.

i really like the mood in this one :) good work

Wow, there are some great thoughts in that poem. Especially the first chapter, but I think you could have condensed it a bit...anyway, how it is, it has great flow.

ah, well
that is a pleasant end rather.

reading this makes me think it is all going to end in heartbreak and dispair

i am not one for love poetry anymore
it is exhausting

this makes me think of a child's tale

I can't get over how empty I feel after reading this last part. Great piece.

This was.. perfection; I don't know what else to say. I think the first chapter was my favourite. It could've stood alone really. But this.. as a whole.. wow.

not only is the writing itself entrancing, the story line is relatable.


gorgeous, but with that hint of pain that makes it so real.

i love the way you wrote this. ** ilove it. 'and it was perfection / you were sugar smiles and twinkling eyes' 'you called me your china doll, but you never acted like you thought i was going to break' it doesnt get any more perfect than that. those lines are perfection. this poem is perfection. i love it.

this is awesome. i know this feeilng. when it's only for a night, only for a little while... and yet you cant let go.