|Reviews for Captain Skyler|
| Blue Screen of Death 2/27/11 . chapter 27
1) Tyler "Ace" N'Bartin: Ever since reading FAKE well written children have been my favorites (I struggled, really, really, hard and long to make that sound less creepy, by the by) because they are so adorable and innocent yet not, and they are so perceptive its freaking scary. Tyler is especially awesome for getting the tattoo of the aces and naming the chickens. It also seems to me that he and Chase are the two who changed the most over the course of the story. (Btw, just because I said he's my favorite here doesn't mean I don't adore the rest of your characters to pieces)
2) I can't take the -pun-ishment. XD
3) Oddly enough and completely unexpected, I like Tiffany's chapter/pieces, ESPECIALLY the later ones, where she is just entranced by the fish. Here, among all this gadgetry, and I'm getting so impressed that they have SPACE SHIPS, whatever the hell MUGs are, and CHICKENS - here, is a woman who has been raised in like a puritanical setting, taken to be a slave, pregnant not likely by choice...entranced by fish. All that other stuff to, but she comes back to the FISH. And I just think it was really well written, her coming around to help.
4) I know this is really hard to do, and I'm sorry for bringing it up - random descriptions of things everybody alive knows, but we don't because hey, lets be honest, the best we got is a space station with single digit occupancy. You managed really really well getting a few short blurbs in there, but I do feel like they stick out a little because they do not really further the scene or the story just serve to inform us.
5) My least favorite scene was in all honesty the sex meld scene - NOT - because you wrote it poorly or any junk like that. I prefer how you went about it in general, actually. It just seemed to me like it was their first time (physically at least, AND with the super awesome mind bond thing) and that it should have been somewhere special, somewhere where they DID have that recuperation time, and not with a ship full of people and a lovesick hidebound pregnant woman demanding that the Captain release Eph from his evil, evil, clutches. So I suppose it is not actually the scene itself, only where it happened to land along the story timeline.
6) *Bows down to the queen* All hail Qui-ween! Long live the Qui-ween! (Being humble is for those who lack the ability to be extraordinary )
7) I, amazingly, do not have a novel to write here. That's gotta be a first. I think anything that I can add here you are perfectly well aware of yourself, and I don't know about you, but criticism from random people always puts me on edge (ESPECIALLY when I am well aware of the so called fault).
All in all, this was a fantastic story to read, and I sincerely enjoyed the worlds and learning about Betas and I laughed that CARDS over seemingly all of our games, survived (somehow I thought Sorry! would span the test of time XD) Allow me to thank you on behalf of late readers like myself for pulling through and finishing this story, even when the going got tough (we need more like you). :)
| Tears Of A Wolf 1/24/11 . chapter 27
1) Orchid... He was just...awesome.
2) Horny. I'm just immature like that.
3) The one with the alley, that was cute.
4) I get the feeling that you left the whole 'secret' thing kinda stranded after awhile.
5) All scenes with that Fray guy.
6) OMG!1! U R SO TTLY AWSOME THAT I LIEK
| Sonne Lore 1/17/11 . chapter 27
Oh my sweet ever loving Jesus on a thrice damned pogo stick! I actually found this story quite by accident and after a brief argument with my inner pessimist, who firmly believes that no author on this site has yet to produce a decent story, I clicked the link - insert appropriate victory dance here. I think I squee'd so much my neighbours are afraid of me. I am absolutely in love with this story, you literally broke my heart when it ended (please tell me theres a sequel?) and I should, rightfully so, demand fictorial recompense. So, enough gushing. Your governmental model is quite singular, and it's history appropriately rife with terror and upset as only an inter-stellar fiction can be. Your idea's of 'Old Earth' did remind me of the 'Earth That Was' legend from Firefly though, and I must say it was an interesting paralell. The Beta's as policemen, so to speak, and their Jedi-likeness was amusing and well thought out, it's execution a tad confusing at times though unequivocally genius. The addition of unique bits of technology, planetary history, culture and the sheer amount of detail makes this fic an utterly captivating read. I am surprised to say that I have absolutely nothing bad to say about your story and generally I am a horridly evil critic. Congratulations, and please, for the love of all things slashy and epic, write a sequel. If you already have, mountains of cookies to you.
| ryoryo 1/4/11 . chapter 27
1) Favorite character: Toss-up between Chase and Eph. Probably a cop out since they are, after all, the two main chars. I also liked Orchid because he was sort of mysterious at the beginning.
2) Favorite joke/pun: ... kind of the "if you're in front of my face you have to be prepared to get tongue", but really just the fact that he licked the paper to begin with. But this may be because of it was so recent.
3) Favorite scene/chapter: I sort of liked where Eph explains to Morin how he found all of the booby-traps, etc, in his bear.
4) Biggest problem/point of confusion: The Elrad project seemed sort of a throw-away mystery, both as to what it was and to what it might have to do with the ship-technology. Also, the split between Black and White Coats isn't very convincingly explained. In fact, until Eph started angsting over it, I wasn't entirely sure if it was a big rift or just two separate branches of the same thing.
5) Least favorite scene/chapter:
6) This is where you sing my praises: Generally, this was a really fun fic to read. I enjoyed the character interaction, and I liked that Chase figured out that Eph was a White Coat on his own.
7) And then you get to screech insults: The main thing that detracted for me was something that I see in a lot of online fic, and is more a technical thing. Basically, there are several pairs of words that people seem to have completely confused. The ones that I noticed in particular in your fic:
defiantly used instead of definitely.
loose used instead of lose.
choose used instead of chose.
breath used instead of breathe.
too used instead of to.
and then there's the confusion of lie and lay, in particular the past tenses. You used them correctly in some places and not in others.
Cleaning these up would have helped the fic to flow better for me.
| pinkguppie 9/21/10 . chapter 27
1) Probably Ace. Because he names things like I do.
2) The walking water pun. I told it to my Dad because he loves those kind of jokes/puns. Now I can't get him to stop saying it.
3) When Geneen walks in on Eph and Chase and the other two aren't surprised at all.
Or when Eph recommends the boy on the ship he travels on to kiss the other boy. It was unexpected and sweet.
4) Biggest problem is that there isn't more. Dammit! :P
5) The last bit about Fraiser. He doesn't have anyone that loves him.
6) Will you clone yourself so I may have a copy to write me stories? Pretty please with sexy men on top?
Amazing story - so good I had to be dragged to school and didn't do any homework when I got back - due to me wanting to finish reading so badly! :)
| acmoon 8/18/10 . chapter 27
Thanks so much for sharing this story! It was a lot of fun to read! I've only recently discovered FictionPress, so it was nice to be able to read the whole thing in one big gulp :}
1) Chase was my favorite character. He was the most developed character, and I liked getting to know about his family and quirks, although maybe I missed it, but where all his anger comes from kept me curious.
2) My favorite pun...really don't know, but I loved the idea of a running series of puns in the Knite family, and that Orchid enjoyed Chase's use of puns as well...he obviously couldn't escape them even across the universe.
3) Eph is for Fountain! Loved that! I really loved all the mindscapes scenes...but having a roomful of memories of your loved one is just such a sweet idea, it made me feel all mushy!
4) Hmm...don't know that I got too confused, I just wanted more backstory on everyone-I know, I'm greedy.
5) Didn't have one.
6) I really loved this story, and stayed up way too late last night reading it, then put off work until I finished it today. It was very creative and I can't wait to see if you've got more out there! Keep writing! :-)
| happy-ending-lover 7/30/10 . chapter 27
ZOMG I LURV THIS!
I can't believe the detailed world you created.. with history and all.. and the info was passed in a way that made my mind wander and think "WOW could it be possible for us to get to that point?" (as in, be able to actually access our mind and sort it out like that -I loved the part where Chase was carrying his anger.. that was hilarious- I can totally see the CEOs taking over. that was brilliant)
It was awesome! I can't wait to start reading your other stories (after giving my eyes a bit of rest XP)
But I just can't help but feel like there is something missing in the end...then again, I'm starving and that messes up my mind. Maybe it's just me p
PS: I'm rooting for a sequel!
| Colocho 7/22/10 . chapter 27
LOVE IT :D
ok now with bussines:
1) favorite character: Im gonna say Tyler (only im imagining a little older *Q*)
2)Favorite joke: wel I dunno, Im not great with english so I probably didnt understad or noticed all of them. I loved that Chases toy was called Horny XD
3)Favorite scene: I love the scene when Chase tells Eph he doesnt mind that Ephs a white coat, it was so sweet and full of fluffines :D
4)Biggest problem: well its not exactly a problem just that I find it rather not believale (is that a word? D: ) that Eph has all those abilities that are just what he needs in the moment. I mean fist the MUG discount, then he can control people, then his MUG also has hacking programs, he can apen doors and copy other MUGS and in the end he had a boyfriend who taught him to do blocks and also has eternal discounts on the most expensieve store. I just think its a little too convinient,
5)lest favorite scene: I dont think I have a least favorite scene or chapter, I really liked them all, the stry was really captivating.
6)You are awesome this strory was great an I loved all the backgroud and the history of the universe they lived in.
| andnobodysmokes 4/23/10 . chapter 1
I don't usually review completed stories until the last chapter, but I just have to throw out some kudos. This chapter title was fabulous. I didn't notice it until the end, and it was like it read my mind. Awesome comedic timing, seriously.
(Oh, and the story itself is really good so far. Way to pull off the sci-fi space adventure without getting hokey)
| YourEvilOverlord 4/6/10 . chapter 16
This is really good, you have such a good way of telling the stroy without overtelling it.
| Emerald Dragon77 1/31/10 . chapter 1
Actually, this is a review for the last chapter, but whatever, I don't think you can post two for the same chapter. Anyway, I was just reading some other reviews and realized that we don't ever find out Eph's big secret! Unless I somehow missed it? Is it just that you don't know what it is? Were you planning on a sequel?
| Emerald Dragon77 1/31/10 . chapter 27
Okay, I'm kind of tired, but I have to review because this must have taken you so many hours of work, and I feel I owe you this much. I was very impressed with the entire world that you created in this story. Was there a story or author that particularly influenced you? The world you have created is incredibly fleshed-out with its own unique history. You have a gift for fantasy (I've read some of your other ones too). Anyway, some things that I liked: 1. I didn't notice the black and white thing that Eph mentioned at the beginning until Chase started figuring things out- I like being surprised. 2. The puns and teasing between Chase and Eph, although I can't remember my favorite.
Suggestions/Criticisms: 1. Sometimes you write Case instead of Chase. 2. At the beginning the relationship between Chase and Eph seemed a bit strange/rushed/I don't know how to describe it. The feeling went away as the story progressed, but I think it had to do with confusion about how deep the feelings were. I don't know. Probably just forget it since I can't really articulate whatever it was. 3. I'd like to maybe see a scene (perhaps a separate one-shot) with Eph meeting Chase's family or vise versa.
I could probably say more, but I should probably finish my homework.
| shuurai-chan 1/23/10 . chapter 27
wow. it was great. is there a sequel? cause id really like to read it if there is.
| Jordan 7/13/09 . chapter 24
Hey just wanted to tell you I love your story. Although I haven't finished it yet. Mostly the real reason for the review is to tell you I would give just about anything to be a "supplemental woman". How cool would that be? Since I'm writing a reveiw I guess I should tell you that I really like how you explain everything between the black-coats and the white-coats. You give enough information that I understand what's happening but not too much that it takes the mystery out of it. It kind of reminds me of Dune. It also leaves lots of room for sequels or spin offs. Hint hint nudge nudge
(I haven't looked on your profile yet so don't hit me if there already is one). It's okay if there isn't I'll just make up my own stories (in my head I don't write) Sorry this review is so long and rambling. To end on a good note your story is awesome and so are your others (that I've read)
| frogs of war 5/15/09 . chapter 25
25: Since you asked, I think the love scene could have used a few more adjectives. This is the hottest sex ever, two minds becoming one, but "He came to the feeling of the hand on the outside and the sparks on the inside, and the clenching of the body around him" is a physical description of a mind altering experience.
I go more for a description of what it felts like emotionally: pressure building, added sensation, heat rising, the feel of Eph calling his name (hearing and speaking), being both surrounded and surrounding, more than anything he's ever felt, the world shrinking, volcanic heat, pressure great enough that stars ignite, having every stroke and thrust be perfect because he is both and each and all, want and need and friction and sounds and smells and epic pleasure that feels eternal and bigger than the universe. And slowly, slowly coming down from the greatest high of his life.
But that's just me.
27:"intended too" to
What about Eph's block? Is he going to have to wear it forever? That's what is tying his mind into knots, isn't it? And the white- and black-coats? Will they continue to be 'enemies' since all the important people now know they aren't?
But I really enjoyed reading this as well as your other stories. As you can probably tell by now, I review everything I read. That way I can quickly spot whether I've actually read something or just planned on reading it. Now that I've finished your work I'm off to devour someone else's.
Keep up the good work.