FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| buster queston 2008-04-16 ch 2,  | abuseAs with most of your work, you leave me speechless, and wondering if I should be laughing, though I usually do regardless. And, again like most of your work, one phrase sticks out for me: “Verbal is my goddamn thing” damn straight. lol keep up the good work! |
| fatbird33 2008-03-28 ch 1, | abusefantastic words choices=fantastic poem |
| simpleplan13 2008-03-20 ch 1, | abuseHiya.. Freebiew review courtesy of Frac As a label falls away,/Someone left you soaking far too long... the as a made this sound awkward to me. Just A label falls away, someone left you... sounds better since as a leaves me waiting for the other event and in this case the leaving them soaking is the reason for the label falling not a separate event. Also Reluctance yet... I had no idea what that was referring to. If it was reluctant I would assume it went with the believing in them... though my guess is I'm just missing something here Anyhow I liked the piece a lot. It flowed really well and I love the third stanza. The two comparisons there were really interesting and well done. My only issue in this piece is some of the punctuation. Well not so much the punctuation, but how you combine lines with it. I felt like the first line should have a period or a comma and in the second stanza the last two lines aren't really sentences. Maybe that was intentional, but it seemed off because the punctuation was done as it would in prose for the rest of the piece. Oh and I really liked the alliteration. Great piece! |
| Zonne 2008-03-12 ch 2, | abuseAnd the ending rocks. You have so many fantabulous lines in there I'd have to cut and paste the whole thing to pick a favorite. Great job. |
| Zonne 2008-03-12 ch 1, | abuse"Someone left you soaking far too long." Brilliant. |
| Twilight Starr 2008-02-20 ch 2, | abuseGreat poem. The last line made me laugh. I have trouble with speaking. I don't even care about syllables! Nice work. ~Twilight Starr~ |
| Twilight Starr 2008-02-20 ch 1, | abuseI like "A Literary Victory" title. It has a nice ring to it. Nice work. ~Twilight Starr~ |