FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
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| Jareth the Monk 2008-05-16 ch 1,  | abuseFinally I got online to give a review. This one flows like one of those music boxes with the little ballerina that spins when you open it. Reminds me of Wynona Rider from Beetlejuice in all her black-cowled goth glory (I really liked her in that movie). It took me a minute to see the rhythm but I got it now. How about adding a line, something like, "Thorns protect it from the picking/ But cannot fight the snow/ Love has no choice in how it dies/ Through blood or frozen cold." It doesn't match your beat, but the meaning is the same. Anyway, I'll be back for more soon. |
| eyes of sky 2006-12-17 ch 1, | abuseGood use of colour imagery, and I like the bluntness of "She was my everything / and now she is dead" |