The language and flow are nice but you've got a lot of symbols left floating and unexplained. It paints a beautiful picture of confusion without giving the reader a chance to understand what they're witnessing (which, admittedly, may be the point). This detracts from the possibility of the reader taking something from the poem, and (for me at least), makes it difficult to relate to any particular image. As such I can abstractly witness, but not fully experience, the beautiful craftsmanship put into the piece. Please keep writing, this is definitely going somewhere.

This is a "OMG!" I really love this so much. You did such a beautiful job on this one. Going to add it to my C2.


Best Wishes