|Reviews for Snow White: The Complex Life|
| eiyuang999 5/24/10 . chapter 1
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| misery sister 4/9/08 . chapter 1
I like this beginning. I usually have something to criticize in stories, but none here. Good job!
| V de V 8/9/07 . chapter 15
There was one little mistake toward the beginning. Refer to "deep and tender look." There is something amiss around that region. I would give you a more constructive review, but I am in a noisy computer lab and can not hear myself think. Hope everything is okay with you. I have not talked with you since the start of summer. Busy with this camp which ends today. When I get home, I plan to finish Azure for good. Sweet, huh. Man oh man do I have some stories for you about my experiences here! Wow! Anyways sorry for the chatty review. Nice work with the Complex Life though. I like it so far.
| midnightbeauty 7/9/07 . chapter 15
Great chappie :) Ew the whips O_O Chase is so creepy...Love Snow though, and her attitude! :D Update soon!
| midnightbeauty 7/2/07 . chapter 14
Hmm, I really love your stories :) Update soon.
| V de V 6/8/07 . chapter 14
Testicles for the dog? Ah, that is rather violent and the second time I am having to communicate with a Fiction Press writer about male anatomy. No, I do not feel like narrating the other episode, though you are welcome to read my most recent review for Hetaira if you are curious.
K? You are joking, right? Hahaha? Right? Right! Joking? Joking ... Right? To tell the truth, I have no idea to what you are confessing. Ha-ha!
Interesting chapter. Illegitimacy comes again! I am still nursing my wounded idealism for Enguerrand de Coucy. I would so slug him if he were not dead. As he already is, my effort is a lost cause there.
P.S. I finally finished Opera in Khaki and am conducting some research on Lithuania before writing Opera in White. France is great and all, but Lithuania has literary potential. By the way, should I make le Comte de Thairble-Lannoc, my Lithuanian dude, have dark hair and eyes to make you happy? I know you like dark-featured men so was wondering. I, I like the rather unconventional tall, fair, and handsome. Ha-ha! You already knew that though.
| V de V 5/21/07 . chapter 13
Hi, K. I am sorry. Excuses. Um yeah, I have plenty, but you are interested in a meaningful review, so here we go:
I have come to realize, and respect for that matter as well, that yours is a rather in-your-face, down-to-earth, somewhat abrasive (to some) kind of feminism. That is okay, just out-there-ish, you know? I am not going to ask what event in your life scarred you and compelled you, for your great peace of mental equilibrium, to become slightly anti-man, but it comes out in your writing. I am getting the vibe, perhaps totally eroniously, that Ira is some subconscious abstract of your feminist ecumene. Be that is it may, this chapter had no greivous mistakes. You may want to polish your wording in some places, nothing major. Other than that, bravissima.
| V de V 4/17/07 . chapter 12
I have an idea. Since you will not be seeing Raoul for a while now, except in rare glimpses (will explain later), why not he give you the review? I think it will be fairly entertaining, and I can keep up his character. Yes, I know, I am obsessed with him ... because he just has a promising career ahead. So:
Mademoiselle K, I have happened upon an omitted word. "“What’s the matter wit’ her?” one of the moving men whispered to one his comrades." Perhaps you meant "one of his comrades"?
Ah, ma belle, your singulars and plaurals must annoy you much. How discourteous nouns are!
'“Don’t you be talking like that!' his friend scolded and the two took their lunch break—leaving us with one moving men, a truckload of boxes and less than ..." One moving man, no? But mon Engliche is awfully bad.
Ah! You favor the helping verb! Vive la verb, but two of them are unnecessary:
"Okay, it was obviously wasn’t the fact that he ..."
Kissing? I hope it was French kissing. The kind I bestow to all my charming amours. And who is this Char? Tell me he is not French, otherwise I shall forsake my title of count and become a monk.
"Kissing monster"? You pain me, Mademoiselle. ... "that wretched kind" Mademoiselle, ma cherie, what have we done to receive such derision from you? Allow me to beg an indulgence on behalf of all of the masculine sex who is deeply and most sincerely grieved to have earned your ire. It will not happen again, at least not from an Argentile.
On second thought, Raoul is not as fun when picking at your grammar. Scrap it. But I am thinking to have a collection of vignettes which are all excerpted from the Opera in Colore series. Each will essentially be a chapter from the longer story and most likely to be the greenroom scene. You have probably noticed I have included a greenroom scene in every Opus so far, so ... I will just give those to you in Scenes in a Greenroom or Greenroom Ambience ... Or if you have a cooler title, then that works, too. Ciao, daaling.
P.S. I had trouble uploading, too. I honestly thought that harpy was poisoning my computer, so I was kind of relieved to learn you had issues as well. But all is good-for now. (wink, wink)
| V de V 4/5/07 . chapter 11
Hey, you are still out there.
"The came to a stop and ..." What came to a stop? I think you may have a missing word here.
"Inside the lobby, it was chaos." Hm. I personally would not have written it this way. More like, "Inside the lobby, I found chaos." or "There was chaos in the lobby." But do you as you see fit.
Suspenseful ... Nice. Be back for more.
| V de V 3/25/07 . chapter 1
Hey, K. What is up? You have not checked out my most recent update to Hetaira, and that makes me sad. (sniffs) Anyways, your narrative is improving. To me at least, it flows more smoothely. I love your humor, too. Nice job with integrating old characters into this piece as well. Of course, I do not remember Valentin was so anti-Ira. Then again, it has been a while since I took a look at P of P. Do continue.
| V de V 2/13/07 . chapter 4
Oh no, not you, too! Erg. Okay, let me articulate myself better. It is a very curious mistake that people make on this site. Please, fix "staring" for "starring" in your billboard thing toward the middle of the chapter. I think it happened one other time as well. It is so hard to find because spell check would not pick it up. So anyways, nice chapter.
| V de V 1/20/07 . chapter 3
So there is you tearing apart all these fairy tales. And then there is me trying to resurrect them from a completely unique perspective. Geeze. Nice work though. Hahaha.