|Reviews for Lost prophesy|
| Phoenix Octavia Bright 3/1/09 . chapter 1
(Am writing reviews for everyone who reviewed me)
I really like the potential of the story, although I had a few problems with it.
You do sorta stereotypes the Japanese and none-Japanese characters by giving most of them different color hair (like pink, orange, blue). If it had to do something with their powers then I would understand.
Two, I noticed quite some errors in your phrase construction. The story doesn't have a flow to it, and makes it kind of difficult to read until the end.
Three, I don't think you build up enough tension to let everything happen so fast (the realization that she could hear their thoughts, maybe, but not the video, and the characters from the parallel world)
Don't get me wrong, I really do like the story, but I would like it more if it was written at it's best, because then you would get more readers too. I would suggest someone beta-ing this story for you.
Till your next chapter...
| Bleu Mystz 12/17/06 . chapter 1
Ahh this story takesme back to my high school years! I really like it its seems like a promising story to come. Try to add more description it will bring life to the story. But you know I really enjoyed reading it