Simply perfect. Wonderful words, flow, rhythm,
everything.


I would love opinions on my work from a writer like you, it'd really mean a lot!

simple and honest.

and for some reason, when i read the last four words, i felt an acute sense of loss.

The rhyming in this is so effortless it hurts.

Your first stanza is amazing. Just, amazing. The second one is pretty damn good too.

"you stutter my name, hesitating on the s,
and the Christmas lights fall, staples and
electrical tape falling loose, you shake,
i hold myself together, we fall apart."

This is what I want to see captured. The Christmas lights falling, and stuttering, and hesitation. This.

Your words are beautiful.

Loved it, especially the second stanza with all the emotions portrayed in there, the way it actually makes you hurt - amazing!

I really like the first stanza of this. You have some interesting and unusual images and it's very specific. I think "ice cold" is a bit cliche, but I realize it's hard to describe cold without reverting to ice. Nice work. Keep writing! :)

i'm not sure what i should say about this. it's a whole mixture of emotions: malice, sorrow, enigma and the likes. it's a broken relationship relived, and revived. lovely.

** hell.

this was amazing and beautiful but oh god it hurts way down somewhere that the vodka won't even touch.

"i hold myself together, we fall apart"

Love that line. Just, Jesus, it was an amazing and beautiful line.

I love that line.

Oh, and the last line was gorgeous. Really; such a nice ending and, oh.

Sweet, sweet, SWEET.

- Noelle

i love the way the words unfold-like a storyline.

'tis the ** season, right, chica?

the words come back brittle and brazen as we are.
god, we're hurting.

i love the first stanza and the way it makes me ache.

Dammn that was good.