I really like the style in which this is written. I'm kind of a sucker for a good stage play, and this is pulled off exceptionally well. There's just the right amount of stage direction and dialogue.

There's just one little thing I'm going to mention, and you can take it as you wish. Where you have "THE END," you really don't need it. Instead, you could change it to "CURTAIN FALLS," which in one of the formatting books I have is supposed to be at the end of a stage play and is essentially the same thing. Just a side note, thought I'd mention it.

Overall, I really liked it. Couple of spelling errors I noticed ("apart" where it should be "a part"), but other than that nothing major. This was expertly done and you should give yourself a pat on the back and a cookie. Well done and keep up the good work!

-Jordi