I LOVE how you have them getting all hot 'n heavy, and then you wind it down. Perfect!

Hey Miomo. i've read some of your stuff. It is very good. I'm not much into the poetry thing but you seem to have a natural talent for it. Keep writing! I loved this oneshot.

that is hilarious! if those two were to randomly meet like that in some other universe, that would probably happen. i like how you make them think their gunna *animal noises in background* and then they watch nemo. i wonder what they'd be like if they really were drunk... *looks up and wonders for a moment and laughs* i think i will leave that question open
author person/shaggywolf

ahahahahahahahahahaha!

i loved how you made the reader think that Lizzy and Gary were gonna...yeah

but then you COMPLETELY turned the tables and made 'em watch "Finding Nemo!"

ahahhahaha, laughing SO hard right now!

wow...
wait, I'm petite?? "Swaying her hips side to side seductively she turned several heads" lol. I can't move my hips even! And me = seductive... scary thought... but such is the nature of one-shots.
I want my revenge on your revenge!
The ending was interesting. lol. I was like, "Oh great, please don't make it get dirty..." but it ended with watching Finding Nemo. Tonal shift? I think so. hee hee.
Well, it could've been worse. Touche.

yay! it's so cute! *smiles* aw!

...

hm, not having a theme on our minds, are we? like, a DANCE, perhaps?? never...
anyway.
The only criticism I have to make is that the switching between POVs would be less confusing if maybe you didn't go between his and I or her and I...just stick with third person or first, and then you don't need to say "lizzies POV" or "Gary's POV"...
other htan that
YAY i LOVE how it turned out! that they weren't just like..stereeoottyyppy. it was cool! finding nemo! ^^ XD

That was bad. Your grammar and punctuation, or lack thereof, wouldn't qualify for a fifth grader and you have all the writing skills of a rat giving birth. It all sounds so contrived and fake, and it stinks of an author whose been fooling around on MySpace so much that their brains have evaporated to the size of a T-rex's. In other words, a BAD STORY.

Revenge is so sweet...though I don't know what the revenge is for.
Cute story though!