Wonderful. I love it! You wrote this yaoi piece so very well. I couldn't imagine anything better. Please update. I'll be looking for this story.

Baillie is beautiful, that's what i have to review. I'm surprised, I mean as soon as I saw the "goth-kid-being-bullied" i rolled my eyes, 'happen's to my friends everyday (I'm more of the plain arty type). But then Baillie somehow stands out than your typical oh-so-tortured. It's refreshing.

How baillie is protrayed? Well, you could say I'm drawn to people with issues in stories more than other characters. And as you say and I've noticed, Baillie has some issues. Seemingly hostile, quiet-issue boy. Of course this chapter was just meant for sadness, since Sam's parents died. The flow of the chapter was more stable than the last one too, so good job on that. And that last line I liked. "Everyone dies alone". Maybe it's true. Ahem, anyway, nice chapter.

-Kanilla

OMG MORRIS!
ah youve done an amazing job!! i wanna read more PRONTO!
i think this is one of the best stories ive read of yours.
ok ok ill make a deal: you can take your time finishing your half of turncoat, but just WRITE MORE ON THIS ONE! okay??
ill tell you more about how brilliant you are on msn.
cheerio!!

The first paragraph told me that you have nothing exceptional to offer. That is how a mind works. Introductions like that are common in essays. I ought to know, I used those.

The separators speak even louder. If you use more than two per chapter. It makes me think that you are uncertain, jumpy, unable to stay in one place. Being unable to function in an environment properly is a bad mark for you.

Character introduction came in a little too fast, the names being given away for no reason. I've missed some narration of the surroundings, too. You don't need much, just some colour and form so that the audience could imagine not only the people, but also their environment.

Overall, not bad, but that is all I can tell you. Be fair with your friends - be fair with yourself.

Average.

Have a nice, abuse-free day.

I don't know how much my opinion counts, but as far as this is written-I like it. Baillie makes me curious, the way he is portrayed is interesting. And Sam, despite being popular and all that is actually a nice guy. Things went a little fast there at the end of the chapter, but it's okay. The two boys are interesting opposites, and I hope to see another chapter soon.

-Kanilla