omg, she caught her own sister in bed

id be scarred for life if dat happened to me

Okay, I don't think I can read any more of this. Every adult said that Betty's smart and is getting somewhere in life, right? Well, I'm not sure she can survive on the kinds of decisions she's making, now. She won't even be able to survive high school like this. Her grades are slipping, she's about to lose the one friend she has, and who really truly cares about her, and she's about to put herself in a setting where she doesn't belong, not only because of the social ladder, but because that's just not her style. Bad choices. Bad choices which can't be passed off for drama.

Sorry that this is so harsh, but that's the way I think, and that's what I think. Needless to say, your story won't be posted on Island of the Romanced. I'm sorry.

Olivine.

Now that we've seen a little bit of Nathan's point of view,he's annoying me, too. He really cares about her, so why wouldn't he attempt to talk some sense into her? Tell her why he's upset, then go from there?

There are so many logical answers and just as many other logical ways of doing things in this story, that the characters are smart enough to do. I think you're avoiding them for the drama, but it's not working for me, because the other paths are so obvious.

Olivine.

She is not going to that party. Okay, so I know she is, but I'm not happy about that.

Olivine.

She doesn't have to change herself at all. It isn't as if Dave didn't notice her in the first place; he picked up her books when she dropped them in the first chapter. For a smart girl, she's being pretty dumb. All she has to do is find him, one day, in the library, while he's sitting all alone, or something, and sit down with him, and start talking. That's much less rash and more sensible,and more likely to work, than changing herself. If he's going to like her or love her at all, he's going to have to like her for her, the way Nathan does. I'm getting really impatient with her, and maybe this just isn't my type of story, because I see drama on the horizon, but I'll finish reading these chapters you have up, anyways.

Olivine.

Ugh...Georgia! Update soon...I wanna know what happens next.

Betty, Betty, Betty...what a shame. :( she has GOT to stop daydreaming about being popular and realize that Nathan LOVES her...GAH!

Yea, you updated! Oh, what will Betty do? The two parties are on the same day!

Horible big sister.

uh-oh

isnt haileys party that weekend?

wonder which one she'll choose

that's so sad.

i feel sorry for Nathan.

i'll choose Nathan over Dave any day..even if Dave is popular.

Hey! Sorry for not reviewing in so long...anyway, great chapter. It's so sad that Betty's so enfactated with Dave, when he doesn't even know her, and Nathan, who does, recieves no return for his affection. Anyway, hope that you update soon.

Well, if Betty's willing to change herself for a guy, I'm not sure I like her. And I'm hoping Nathan will try and stop her, and make her see some sense, but I doubt he will, and even if he does, I doubt it'll work. I don't know where this is going, but you say you have a plan, and I am interested in where this is going. So I'll stick around. Spelling and grammar mistakes are a little fewer, but they're still there. Getting better, though. Update soon. -Ss.

Oh, so sad. I just wish that Betty would open her eyes! ugh, well as they all say, love blinds you. I really feel sorry for Betty...update soon!

1st paragraph 1st sentence put "tightly" in front of "to her"

take out the word "books"

change "the" to they

4th sentence after "little dog" add on it

2nd paragraph 1st sentence after "betty" add in a nutshell for you

2nd sentence frightened

change "as" to like

3rd paragraph 2nd sentence switch "was and always" around

4th paragrahp 2nd sentence write it like this... just in that moment she realised

6th paragraph 3rd sentence switch around "was and gently"

hey,

after you gets used to doing it this way. i will probably start to use freehand and i will give you my key to my free hand. until then i will just do it this way.