FictionPress.com - let the words flow
| FictionPress.com - let the words flow |
|
| Home Just In Communities Forums Beta Readers Dictionary Search | Login Register Extras |
| Living.My.Life.My.Way 2007-03-18 ch 1,  | abuse... |
| Princess-anna57 2007-01-27 ch 1, | abuseGood work. I like it. Keep writing. ~Anna~ ^_^ |
| commemorativemisery 2007-01-22 ch 1, | abusethis is really good! i love your writing style! its sad, but hey i can relate to it lol |
| I.O.K.O 2007-01-21 ch 1, | abuseIf only it were. |
| Affinity 2007-01-18 ch 1, | abuseOoh I like this =) Just my style.. |
| Professional Dreamer 2007-01-10 ch 1, | abuse'a restless rest' Genius :) |
| polka dots and addictions 2007-01-07 ch 1, | abuserestless rest...powerful description there |
| Silhouetted-Demise 2007-01-04 ch 1, | abusegod this is creppy! good job! |
| Moondog Dozier 2006-12-30 ch 1, | abuseMarvelous self-examination, as it relates to both the individual and the broader "you" that provides the many relatable constructs. I also like the subtle contradictions. Good work. |
| S.C.R.E.A.M.I.N.G. 2006-12-30 ch 1, | abuseHey, this was pretty good, I especially liked the part of the second to last line painfully painless killing. It stood out for me and I have a feeling that this line will stick with me for a while, which means that it was great. My only problem with all of this is the grammar and spelling mistakes, so I'll list them all. a bloodless suicide- I would think that a would be capitalized, but if you're doing the whole lowercase thing for effect, than that's okay too. is dieing- it should be is dying. A Bloodless Suicide- again, I think it'd look better if only the a was capitalized, but if it's for effect, then I guess it's okay. an painfully painless killing- either a or and, not an. Also, I might think that some more of the first letters should be capitalized. But overall, when overlooking the mistakes, this was a great piece. I really really liked the things like restless rest and painfully painless, and the repetition of words in different lines. That really adds to it, without some of those things this would be plain and almost boring. And I liked the bloodless suicide idea, that stood out for me too. Anyway, if you fixed up your mistakes, then this would be a great piece. I hope this helped. Keep writing, kay? --Ally |
| Ripped wings of a Butterfly 2006-12-28 ch 1, | abusereally beautiful! you sure can't escape death.. once? twice? |
| Ryumaru shogunate 2006-12-21 ch 1, | abusePills? LOL! Anyhow! Great work! I love it! |
| madi.ao 2006-12-21 ch 1, | abusethats really deep, i like it, its sad but good, well done |
| hirondelle89 2006-12-21 ch 1, | abuseI liked your poem a lot. Maybe there could be a bit more imagery, but then again it might ruin the poem. It's very stark, which I think fits the theme |