I love this. Just the way it's written. The line "I want to go to that time or place, where you're beautiful and you're happy so I can be happy with you." Lovely.

a.

I read other people's comments, and I don't agree with them. This works with the words. Nothing needs to be understood fully; things can be complete in and of themselves in the way they were intended.

A single word can be more powerful than a novel.

Oh my.

Very nice. I feel like I may need a stiff drink.

I think this piece is craving stanza breaks.

Also it's very telling rather than showing, which in its current structure makes it read more like a short prose piece than anything else.

I think if you chopped this up into stanzas, introduced some imagery, some metaphor and helped the reader understand the situation more it could be really interesting.

Hopefully this was helpful.

.:midnight:.