hello! you story sounds cool! seeing as you are fixing your grammar, here are some tip things. make a separate paragraph when you have people talk. like this;
"hello" he said to her
"hello" she answered back.
it makes it so much easier to read. also, the way you write the sentences. Sarina did this. Sarina did that. She went there. She came here. try putting more than one action into a sentence if you can do so and still have the sentence make sence. not only that, but try not to start any sentence with the same word in a paragraph. so rather than this;
he did this.
he did that.
he went here.
he went there.

try doing this instead;
he did this.
then he did that.
afterwards he went here.
finally he went there.

it makes a paragraph seem less monogomas (not sure about that spelling) and boring. try these tips (assuming you haven't made changes already) and see how they work.
i like the names you gave the characters. especially Saku. it sounds american indian. i just might use it in my story. (with your permition, that is) okay, um yeah.
auther person/Shaggywolf

Ah, the cliff hangers! I liked the flashback, it was interesting to see more of Saku's character. I liked how you described the petal as being "as delicate as a tissue." Very good imagery there ^^
My only suggestion, since you said on your profile that you wanted to improve, is to combine more sentences. For example, instead of "Selina smiled. She looked up at the sky. Stars twinkled. The moon shined very bright." you maybe could say "Selina smiled as she looked up at the sky. Stars twinkled and the moon shined very bright." It just makes it slightly more readable, instead of lots of short sentences. It's a small thing, not a big deal.
But still, very good!! ^_^

Wow, Saku is summoning demons to kill off his eldest sister so he can have the crown? And he's only five? That's one messed up little brother...
What time period is this supposed to be in? That was my only question. I was thinking medival, but then you started talking about guns, so I was slightly confused...
Altogether, I believe I see a good story being set up :)

Oh, a magical world! I liked the line "The fur was like velvet against her skin." Very descriptive, good simile! Why is the ground shaking? Dun dun dun!

cool building of the plot! What's gonna happen to the royal family? *dun dun DUN*

It's reall cute so far! the only thing that I'd point out is you might want to be careful with the closeness of the names to one another. Sarina, Selina, and Sabriel are all pretty similar so you just might want to be careful there and be specific as to which character is which. Overall...yay!