i really enjoy reading this story. i wasn't too excited about it at first; but you're improving with every chapter. impressive. please update :)

Aww, poor Susan! )=[

Well, can't wait for the next chapter!

MORE, Dammit MORE! XD

Hello! .Snow.White. here! I really enjoyed your story! There were times when the dialogue seemed a bit dry because there were no descriptors, but you got better with that as I got into the second chapter. But, you're VERY good at describing emotions (ie., when she was nervous about the results) so that was entertaining. In short: UPLOAD MORE, DAMN YOU! ^^

the all-amazing Days from Gaia, here. XD

Okay. You told me what the new style was in the Gaia thread, and I must say that I honestly didn't notice much difference. Of course, I haven't read any of your other works that I remember at the moment. It sounded fine to me, but there are some parts that may come in the future where a description may be needed, and if you go thorugh the whole story focusing less on detail, a whole burst of description and detail to that one scene may seem odd.

Reading this prologue, however, I think you should be fine. I noticed a rather nice balance of detail and progression.

Please say you're going to post more? I can see this becoming interesting.

Peace, love, goo,
RS (a.k.a. Days)

I know it's short, but I need some serious feedback at this point. Can anybody help me? I'm testing out a new style of writing, I want to see if it works.
=D