FictionPress.com - let the words flow
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| The Intelligent Designer 2006-12-27 ch 1,  | abuseIt is a very nice relation of volleyball. It captures the feeling and rythym of the game,and I like it. Keep writing! |
| ignominy 2006-12-25 ch 1, | abuseadreniline, but it doesn't matter, i love the short lines, they add rhythem, good job. |
| Dani P 2006-12-25 ch 1, | abuseI didn't really like this poem, though I used to be a volleyball player myself. The last lines "The name of the game, is volleyball." is cliche. The purpose of a poem is to show a different view on s known topic, and to captivate the reader. If you find a new spin on how to convey your feelings to the game, and choose your words more carefully, and avoid cliche phrases it could be a good piece. I wish you luck, and hope you will try again (this review isnt meant to discourage but to help you improve) |
| Microwrite 2006-12-25 ch 1, | abuseit was okay. it is a wierd topic. this is my new laptop. i think you can do beter but on a different topic that is more relatable. peace |