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| Bitter Irony 2007-01-04 ch 1,  | abuseYou did an excellent job at conveying a moral in this poem, and your imagery is perfect (and chilling!) There's a lot of variation in the number of syllables in each of your lines, and that damages the poem's flow. A good hint is to get a syllable pattern going in your stanzas: 9,8,9,8 is a common meter that I personally enjoy, but experiment with different syllable counts to see which one flows best for you. Sorry if all that wasn't too clear--sometimes I go into poetry-nerd mode :-). Anyways, great poem, I'm not going to be able to get it out of my head for a while! ~Bitter Irony ~Bitter Irony |
| lockna2 2006-12-29 ch 1, | abusean other grate poem dont worry if not a lot of people reveiw all grate arts or ignored |
| Dani P 2006-12-25 ch 1, | abusenice. its very...powerful. And you say I'm hiding my poems from you (reads new poem from you)..mhm... |
| briannanicole768 2006-12-24 ch 1, | abuseGood point. Loved it. :) -Brianna |