dude that was really good. i've been reading shakespeare since last year (my freshman year) and I probably still couldn't write a sonnet like that!

Hey! It's a sonnet! William Shakespeare, man. Good job; you even used Old English.

This is a gorgeous piece of prose- your imagery is romantic period-esque, but the message is timeless.
Nice.
Erisah
p.s. feel free to check out some of my work some time ;) I'd love to hear your opinion of it.

Good repitition in your poem... but the lines didn't flow very well and the words themselves were rather cliche, so maybe you could come up with some new lines... With your talent, I'm sure it would be easy.

whoa... dat was just... whoa... amazing poem... and I don't like poems! I don't like poems yet I loved this poem! I'm going crazy! Brain overload! Anyways... I just joined the group ur in also :D

Good rhyming, but I think you could work on the flow a bit; don't let the word "thou" clog the structure. There's some sort of hidden meaning in this poem, but I haven't quite gotten it yet. What do I know; I'm no poetry king.

Wow, that was good, with a very strong meaning to it.
I like how you've used old english, i wasn't expecting that. =)

Well, you don't see many poems written like this anymore, haha. The "thee"s and "thou"s remind me (obviously) of romantic/renaissance poetry, although you do mess up once and use "you", although it seems only to make the rhyme work.
I can tell that you're trying to go for a rhyming poem, although your metre is a little askew. Did you have any specific metre in mind or were you just going for the rhyme and nothing else? Anyways, it works out pretty well overall.
The content is of course your typical romantic/angst, so I don't think it's the most important thing to focus on when looking at this. What's more important is the (ironic?) return to older poetry styles. Just try not to repeat exactly what has been done already. My suggestion would be to throw in some humour, since you clearly enjoy humerous pieces as well as having a knack for writing them.
Anyways, keep on writing!

You gotta do the old English? You have something for that, didn't you?

Or is your english teacher being "evil" to you again?

O, I really liked this sonnet. The middle English adds a nice touch to it. Fab :) oh and by the way--it was me who nominated you. ;) Thought you really deserved it.

xoxo

~*Erin*~

This is so passionate! You should try at poetry more often.

Lucky you. Harnassing such talent. Beautiful, and striking.